Through All These Years
by Lyka98
Summary: The absence of a loved one can have an effect so profound, so intense, so haunting that it consumes one's very being. Their thoughts, their dreams, everything. But absence makes the heart grow fonder. Korra and Asami slowly learn just how much they mean to each other in the years of Korra's quest to find balance. (A deeper look into Season 4)
1. Left Alone

Through All These Years

The absence of a loved one can have an effect so profound, so intense, so haunting that it consumes one's very being. Their thoughts, their dreams, _everything_.

Korra and Asami deal with this absence in the three years that the Avatar has been gone.

Disclaimer: The Legend of Korra is owned by Bryke and Nickelodeon.

Scenes from Season 4 are used with an attempt at accurate dialogue. This dialogue is owned by Bryke.

. . .

The nightmares haunted Korra every night. Each and every time she awoke with a phantom ache in her muscles and a feeling of breathlessness while a pair of pale white arms surrounded her. Sweet nothings of "It's ok, you're safe, I've got you" whispered in her ear and slowly calmed her. Spirits, the amount of times she has awoken Asami with her screams on Air Temple Island racked the Avatar with guilt. Poor, ever loyal Asami refused to leave her side, and in Korra's suffering, felt obligated to participate in the suffering herself.

Even at her worst, Asami had always been there.

_"I just want you to know that, I'm here for you. If you ever want to talk or...anything."_

Even then she had been unresponsive, too caught in the pain and emptiness left by the Red Lotus. The young engineer's efforts at reaching out had been denied with a slap in the face in the form of silence.

In the fitful state of her common nightmares, a new demon arose to haunt her.

.

Korra stood in an empty, warped replica of Air Temple Island. The only other presence in the room was the hunched form of a young sobbing woman in a wheelchair. The young woman was dressed in tailored leather with half a gear etched into the shoulders. Wavy hair cascaded down her back and shoulders to cover her face.

Korra tentitavely walked towards this mysterious girl. "Hey...are you alright?"

The girl looked up and startled Korra with those familiar jade eyes. "Asami?"

Tears continued to streak down the other girls cheeks. "I just don't know how to help you anymore. I don't know if I can keep doing this...You can't even help yourself."

Korra retreated, taken aback by what she was hearing. The first stirrings of guilt began to settle in her heart. "I'm sorry...you don't have to help me anymore." Asami returned to sobbing in the wheelchair as Korra slowly backed out the room and shut the door.

.

With the click of the door knob in her dreams, Korra jolted back into reality and took in her surroundings. Asami sat by her bed, as had become usual in the past weeks. She took in form of her friend, protective even in slumber. Her heart ached, but from what, she could not describe.

She had to leave, had to spare Asami, who had put _so much_ of her life on hold for her, from the spiritual baggage that no one should have to bear. The genius engineer and brilliant young CEO of Future Industries had more important things to deal with than a broken, helpless, useless failure of an Avatar.

So as she sat in bed a few nights later, tears streaking her cheeks from a fresh night terror and Asami clutching her tight, she looked into those caring green eyes and gave her double edged news. "I need to leave Republic City."

Asami's face fell, and all light (what little left there was after the past few weeks) left her eyes. Ever quick-minded, she recovered and gave a forced smile. "I'll help you pack. Whenever you're ready," she promised, and left the room.

Quiet tears cracked through the night.

. . .

As promised, Asami packed Korras belongings for her, all the while attempting eye contact with the broken Avatar, only to be met by the shunning turn of a head. Korra managed to sneak a glance here and there to treasure this last moment with the friend that had come to mean so much to her.

Her eyes roved over Asami's facial expression; the concerned line of her brow, the sorrow in her eyes, the attempt at a smile that Korra knew was meant for her. Guilt settled deeper into the pit of her stomach with the weight of remorse now stacked upon it. While she was leaving for Asami, part of her didn't want to leave at all.

Part of her wanted to be selfish and stay here, near Asami and keep her all to herself. Part of her wanted to keep Asami by her side 24/7 through this whole ordeal so that she did not have to burden it alone. Even worse, part of her was glad that her friend had dropped her entire life to coax her through the now unbearable struggle of daily life.

...but the rest of her was guilty and afraid. Guilty for failing the entire world, most importantly Asami, by being an inactive blob of a person stuck in a wheelchair while the world went on without an Avatar. Guilty for feeling the selfish wishes of wanting to stay like this where Asami felt obligated to be with her. Afraid for what those selfish feelings meant. Friends weren't supposed to be this attached, this reliant on one another. Maybe this was wrong.

Too soon it was time to leave. Tenzin peeked his head into the room to notify them that the Souther Water Tribe ship had arrived to take Korra away. Finally, Korra allowed her eyes to meet Asami's, and she saw her own remorse reflected back to her, fake smiles struggling while they mirrored each other.

. . .

A cool bleeze blew through the docks and around Korra's farewell committee.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't wait for you to leave."

"How else is she supposed to take that _but_ the wrong way." Korra allowed herself a wry smile.

"I mean because I've never had a pen pal before!" Bolin exclaimed. He turned back to Korra. "I'm gonna write you _so_ many letters and, just to get the ball rolling, here." The earthbender pulled an envelope out of his pocket and held it out to his friend. "Spoiler alert: Pabu and I already miss you."

Bolin clasped his hands together and smiled sweetly while Pabu purred and Korra realized how much she would miss them; miss everyone...miss Asami. "Thanks. That's sweet."

Suddenly, warm hands enveloped her shoulders. Korra turned her head to look back at the other girl. Concern was obviously etched into the older girls face, and Korra found herself losing touch with what little self control she had in keeping herself together. "Are you sure you don't want some company in the Southern Water Tribe?" Asami asked with subtle desperation. "I'm happy to come with you." Korra's heart sank. She'd been dreading this possibility. _Of course I want you with me. _But they _couldn't_. Korra turned her head. She couldn't look at Asami like this, it would only make her miss her friend more.

"No. I appreciate it, but I'll only be gone for a few weeks," she lied. A few weeks were definitely not synonymous with forever...but she had to do this. She felt Asami release her shoulders and step back and immediately felt like she lost a part of herself. Korras eyebrows arched together. "A little time alone will be good for me" _and for you . . ._

"Now, I don't want you to worry about a thing while you're gone. Your _recovery_ should be your number one concern." Tenzins sudden interlude was enough to temporarily distract her. "Jinora, the airbenders, and I have everything under control."

She didn't think it possible, but her heart sank even further. Here she was, not only shirking her friends, but her Avatar duty: what she was born and bred for. And now...now she was _coward_, running away from her friends and her duty. And for _what_?

Korra remained silent as Asami wheeled her onto the boat and handed her off to her mother and father. The older girl clasped her hand and gave it one last squeeze with the first genuine, albeit remorseful, smile she had seen from Asami all day. "I'll miss you." After waiting for a response that never came, the young CEO walked away.

As the boat pulled out of the harbor Korra feebly waved back to her friends.

"Bye Korra!"

"Get better soon."

"Don't forget to write!"

Soon the rest of Team Avatar turned into indiscerable specks on the horizon of Republic City.

Korra cracked in half.

.

With every inch that Korra's ship sailed, Asami felt like part of herself was getting pulled away. She kept her arm up waving as the ship steadily faded into a speck on the horizon. Maybe if she reached far enough, she could pull Korra back.

She understood why Korra had to leave. Or at least, she hoped she did. Maybe the Avatar was homesick, or maybe the weather in the South Pole was better for her health. Maybe Republic City wasn't the right environment for her recovery.

_Or maybe it was me. . ._

. . .

That night, Korra flailed in her bed, the sheet long banished to the cold floor of the South Pole palace.

Pain flashes through Korra's body as she shoots among the boulders at break neck speed. Zaheer catches her as air surrounds her head as he holds her in place with a glare. She's terrified; her first instinct not longer to fight back like she always has, but to run away. Zaheer leans in, his rage palpable. "Why?!" he demands.

"What?" She asks. The terrorist's face morphs into a lovlier form. Jade eyes and red lips and wavy silk hair calm her but only slightly. She still wants to run. "Asami?"

Her hands move to the sides of Korra's cheeks and stroke them tenderly. "Why did you leave me?" She asks, much more gently than Zaheer had.

"I-I didn't, I just-" she stumbled on her words as the scenery changed from the rough cut of the boulders to a quiet, inky darkness.

"Why did you leave _us_?" Dread settled into Korra's heart.

"What do you mean?" she asked with confusion laced into her voice. Their surroundings started to fade into a muddy grey.

"I love you..." The muddled outlines of Republic City's skyscrapers began to take form. Her heart skipped a beat.

"...Asami...I-"

"I thought you loved me too." The city took final shape. Bright lights shone through the night in the city. The sound of Satomobile engines buzzed far away from their quiet spot in the street.

"I do..." Korra started to lean in when, suddenly, Asami's face melted back into the hard expression of Zaheer's.

Korra let out a wordless scream as the pain of liquid metal settled back into her system. Her vision turned red as the previously peacefully streets of the city were suddenly set ablaze. Fire burned the facade of the skyscrapers back into that of the boulders. Air surrounded Korra's head and left her breathless. Her lungs, her arms, her legs; all screamed in agony.

But none screamed louder than her heart for the loss of Asami.

She awoke with a jolt, as the same phantom of pain in her muscles and the same feeling of breathlessnes overtook her. But there were no comforting arms around her. No sweet nothing flowing in a gentle stream over her. Korra curled into a ball to protect herself from the demons encouraged by the absense of Asami.

She had never felt so alone.

. . .

For three weeks the same dream persisted. Each night, she would revisit the brink of death before Asami rescued her, only to bring with her a new dread. The guilt in itself of leaving killed her more within her dreams than the loss of air. Though those few moments that enabled her to see Asami brought a false sense of security. Despite the sadness, she felt more at home in that deserted fantasy street of Republic City than she did awake in the South Pole. Small hope would bloom and she would have Asami back for a few moments until Zaheer came and ripped her away over, and over, _and over again._

Soon, Korra broke and was unable to even approach her bed without feeling endangered. This constant teasing reminder of her failure slowly unraveled her sanity. Nights would frequently find Korra on the balcony as she stared over the comforting, pure white stretches of snow before her.

Quiet footsteps echoed behind her and she felt her mother's hands on her shoulders, reminding her of how Asami had gripped her shoulders and asked to come with her. How she wished she said yes.

"Can't sleep again?" her mother asked gently.

Korra stayed silent. Thoughts of her dreams, leaving Asami, almost losing her life, losing _herself_ in the process; all kept her incapable of forming words.

"Honey, your father and I have tried to give you as much space as you've needed, but we're worried. You're not sleeping, you're barely eating. We don't want to push you but it's been three weeks. Will you _please_ go see Katara." Guilt reared its ugly head once again. Not only has she pushed Asami away, she's pushed her own family away in her grief.

Korra closes her eyes and makes the decision to show at least a smidge of cooperation for the efforts of her loved ones. "Alright. I'll go."

"You're going to get through these." Senna reaches and embraces her daughter in her arms. "Oh, I love you so much."

The hopelessness of her situation overwhelms Korra. Everything she's tried to hold in will now have to be put out into the open for Katara. But will the waterbending master be able to heal her? What if _no one can_?

A single tear is able to escape Korra's reservation.

. . .

Korra transfixedly watched the glow of healing water travel up and down her body as it subtly soothed the tension in her muscles.

"The poison did a lot of internal damage, " Katara informed her.

_Obviously_, the Avatar bitterly thought, but refrained from saying it out loud. She tentatively looked up at her old master. "Can you fix it?"

"I can help guide the healing process. But whether you get better or not is up to you," Katara answered forlornly. Obvious concern shone in her eyes, but Korra was unable to hold the gaze of the waterbending master. The younger woman stared dejectedly at the now stagnant water. _Funny. Useless. Just like me._

Her thoughts were interrupted when Katara spoke once more. "I know what it's like to go through a traumatic experience," visions of Zaheer flashed through Korra's mind. "But I promise you, if you dedicate yourself to getting better, you'll recover. Stronger than ever."

Korra's eyes narrowed. "That's what I want." She turned to look at her healer with vindication. "More than _anything_."

"Then try something for me. Concentrate on your big toe." The young Avatar focused all her energy into the big toe of her right foot. "Visualize it moving. Breathe." She inhaled and put all her hope into that breath, then let it out and focused again. _Move _she thought. She felt somthing stir in the extremities of her foot. _Move and you can go back to Republic City...back to Asami. _

Suddenly, her toe twitched. Barely noticeable, maybe a millionth of an inch. But that millionth of an inch felt like miles of progress to Korra. _She might be able to walk again._ "Did you see that?" she said with elation. "It worked!"

Katara couldn't help but smile.

. . .

Asami stood on her balcony to admire the view of Republic City at night. Her experienced eyes roved over the view to see what needed the most fixing. She had, after all, just gotten a contract to basically remodel the entire city.

Despite the late hour, the headlights of Satomobiles littered the streets, bilboards shone, lively music played far in the distance. This had to be her favortie project so far. This was her city: this was the place she grew up in and knew like the back of her hand. There was plenty to do; redesign buildings, come up with a solution for getting around the vines, work on transportation, lay out a new park for recreation; more than enough to fill up her life.

_So why does it feel so empty?_

The young businesswoman looked up at the sky and was disappointed, as usual, to see nothing. The lights of her city blocked out the stars, and along with it the night sky that Korra would see.

A sudden pang of longing hit Asami's heart as she was suddenly reminded of how much she missed her friend. She knew Korra had to leave, but that didn't mean she had to _like it_. She wanted nothing more than to talk to the once goofy yet confident young woman. The previous months before the Red Lotus kidnapped Korra had, despite the unpleasant setbacks, had been the best of her life. She and Korra had been closer than ever, and Asami had _finally_ had a friend that she could trust completely. Before it had all been people admired by her beauty, or money, or power. Korra was the first that liked her for _her_. And now she was gone.

But why did she miss the Water Tribe girl _so damn much_. Asami tried to tell herself that it was because they were such good friends...but something made her feel as if that wasn't the case, not completely at least. Then there was the fact that, after spending practically every day together before hand, this month of absense had felt like an eternity.

Deciding that it had been long enough (a month is a long time), she decided to join Bolin in writing letters to her now distant friend. Asami returned to her room and sat at her desk, staring at a blank peace of stationary paper and contemplating what to write.

_"Dear Korra" _she started. How is she supposed to do this? What is she supposed to say? "_I wish you didn't leave...Why did you leave?" _The pang in her heart grew stronger and she felt a prickling in the back of her eyes. "_I miss you so much it hurts. I know you had to go, but I'd be lying if I said I was ok with that._

_"It's just, you didn't really say why you wanted to leave so suddenly. I hope it's not anything I did. Maybe all the helping was too smothering. It's just, I couldn't just stand by and watch." _Moisture began to collect in her eyes as she continued to write, putting everything she felt onto the page and forgetting that someone was actually going to read this. "_If I did something to push you away or make you uncomfortable then I'm sorry. It'd be great if you were here. It's not the same here without you. It doesn't feel like home anymore. Even Mako and Bolin are busy with their jobs. You said it was a few weeks, and I know healing takes time but...maybe you could finish healing here? I could help you if you want. And...while you've been gone...I think..."_

Asami stopped. This was going nowhere. She read over her work with disgust. It was too desperate, too weak. Korra had more important things to worry about than Asami's whining. She crumpled up her pathetic letter and threw it into the corner that contained all her other failed and hasty designs. She pulled a fresh piece of paper out and started over. This one would be productive, engineered into something simple, consise, and useful. Not that emotional drivel. _Use your head Asami. You know better._

_'Dear Korra...'_

. . .

Korra's arms gripped the iron bars tightly and lifted her body off the ground, keeping the weight off her still weak legs.

It had been about two months now since she had left Republic City, yet her body still wasn't even half at its previous capacity. And her mind? That hadn't even healed remotely. If anything, everything had gotten worse. Without Asami there to keep her hope alive, Korra had shrunken in on herself. Every moment was spent dwelling on the past and the stagnation of her healing.

"The mind can be a powerful ally, or your greatest enemy. Now, I want you to try taking a step." Already sweat began to bead on Korra's forehead, and she hadn't even started _moving_ yet. How is she gonna do this when she can't even stand?

She focused all her energy into her left leg, trying to will it to move and gain some tractin on the ground. _Come on_, she thought. _Stop being so damn helpless. That's how you got here in the first place_.

Korra gasped and her pupils suddenly dilated. She felt herself in chains again, felt quicksilver seep through her skin and tear into her muscles. Metal cut through her insides and destroyed her from the inside out. _So much pain. _The world spun out of control.

Her body fell roughly to the ground and she remembered where she was again. Her screams from her flashback rang in her ears and she brought her hands up to cover them. _I failed_.

"You're okay," Katara's comforting voice broke through the ringing. The waterbanding master knelt down and soothingly placed her hand on Korra's head. "Your body thinks it is still in danger, but your safe here." _I'm not safe anywhere._ "Use your mind to overcome the pain. Try again."

Korra lifted her head up. She couldn't do this. Not again. Not if she'd feel _that_ again.

"I'm done for today."

.

That evening sat up in her bed staring at everything and nothing when her mother knocked on the door. "Come in"

Senna popped her head in then walked towards her daughter with a smile. "Another letter from Republic City. Here." She handed the envelope over.

Korra allowed herself a soft smile. Bolin had kept good on his promise, though usually Korra was too tired to write back. _So tired._ "Thanks."

After her mother left the room, she she read the back of the envelope and felt her heart skip a beat. "Asami Sato, 192 Bosco Dr., Republic City."

With some trepidation, she carefully opened the envelope and read the letter.

"_Dear Korra,_

_I miss you. It's not the same in Republic City without you. How are you feeling?_

_Things are going well here. I just got a big contract to help redesign the city's infrastructure, so I'll be keeping busy for a while. _

_Get well soon. I can't wait til you come back. Maybe we can start those driving lessons again?_

_Love,_

_Asami_"

Korra leaned her head back and let out a long sigh. At the rate she was going, she'd never get back. Here she was sitting helplessly in her bed, unable to take _one measly step_. Meanwhile Asami was able to move mountains in Republic City. _And all it took was me leaving. _

Asami was obviously better off without the needs of a helpless Avatar holding her back.

Maybe she should stay out of her life all together. Out of all their lives.

She didn't write back. Nor would she for a long time.

. . .

Sometimes, on nights when she's acutely aware of just how lonely the Sato mansion is, she stands on her balcony and stares at the Republic City skyline. It's nights like these that make her want to write to Korra, despite the fact that she never gets a response.

She likes to believe that Korra reads them, but sometimes she doubts it. A part of her still fears that she pushed her away into leaving. She feels herself counting the days till she comes back.

Without any stars to look at, Asami finds herself focusing on the moon. There have been five full moons so far. She remembers because those are the times when she feels closest to Korra. It's especially beautiful tonight.

Even with her limited knowledge of bending, Asami knows how important the moon is to waterbenders.

Maybe this is when Korra feels strongest. She hopes so. The Avatar has been through so much, and she knows how her friend thinks. Korra thinks the weakness of her body reflects her own inner strength. Asami knows that it doesn't.

She hopes that the moon reminds Korra that she's strong when Asami can't.

. . .

Korra dejectedly sat in her wheelchair and stared at the two metal bars. This scene had become familiar to her over the past six months; disgustingly familiar. _Six months_ and she _still_ hasn't made any progress. The only progress that she felt was progress in memorizing every inch of those metal bars from the viewpoint of her wheelchair. It's not like she could go anywhere else.

By now, as she could tell from the mountains of letters on her bedside table, her friends have gone on with their lives. Mako was keeping crime off the streets, her job, Bolin was helping to restabilize the Earth kingdom, again, _her job._ Then there was Asami who was rebuilding the city after all the damage caused by her decision. Everyone was fulfilling their resposibilities. Meanwhile, she was trapped here, and she _couldn't even walk_.

"Whenever you're ready."

Korra sighed. Would she ever be ready? Would she ever even get anywhere? "What's the point. We've been at this for six months and I can barely take a couple of steps without collapsing." She inwardly cringed, every time she had failed because of flashbacks replayed in her head. She stared angrily at nothing; something she had gotten used to doing in the past months.

"I know you're frustrated but-"

"Of _course_ I'm frustrated!" Korra interrupted. A _crazy man_ poisoned me and now I can't _dress myself_ or _cook for myself_, or- or do _anything _for myself." She began to gesture wildly. "And this _whole time_, my friends have been off _helping the world_ while I'm stuck here with _you_ and _you can't even heal me_!" All motion in the room froze. Even Naga's tail had stopped swaying. Did that really just come out of her mouth.

"...That came out wrong." The distressed woman brought a hand to her face in shame.

"It's...alright. Let your anger and frustration flow like water." The wise master walked over to her pupil and knelt down beside her, showing that she was ready to listen; properly this time.

More calmly this time, Korra began to express her frustrations once more. "I am trying to understand why this happened to me, but nothing makes any _sense_. I'm _tired_, Katara. I'm _so tired_."

"Korra, I know you feel alone right now. But you're not the first Avatar that's had to overcome great suffering. Can you imagine how much pain Aang felt when he learned that his entire culture was taken from him."

The master had a point. Korra looked down in parts shame and remorse. "That must've been so awful." Her words felt meek when she thought of the gravity of that situation; she couldn't imagine what she would do if the Southern Water Tribe had suddenly disappeared. If she had lost her family, her friends, everyone that she loved.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Katara began again. "But he never let it destroy his spirit. He chose to find meaning in his suffering, and eventually, found peace."

"And...what am I going to find if I get through this." This had to be for something. There had to be a _reason_ for all the pain and suffering.

"I don't know," Katara offered with a small smile. "But won't it be interesting to find out?" Interesting? Maybe. Scary? Totally. But was it worth it? Was it worth going back out into the world to risk getting back into this situation? Was it worth it if she could find whatever it was that the cosmos wanted her to find? _It has to be._

"Close your eyes," Katara continued. "Visualize yourself walking toward Naga."

So Korra did. She shut her eyelids and saw her broken body making its way to her loyal friend. She saw herself limping back to Republic City, back to her Avatar duties, back to her friends, to Asami. The ache of longing settled into her gut.

She wanted to get better. She needed to. She couldn't be stuck here anymore, and she _refused_ to back to her friends in the state she was in. She had to get better if she wanted to go back.

Naga whimpered, as if sensing her masters struggle.

"Can you see it?"

"Yes," Korra whispered, allowing a shred of hope to shine through.

"Now. _Take that first step_." Korra took a deep breath and took that first step forward. Her left leg moved hesitantly, shakily, but planted firmly on the ground. She gritted her teeth in determination, focusing all her energy on her right leg. Left leg. Right leg. Left leg. Right leg. Her arms began to quiver feverishly, screaming for relief. She wanted nothing more than to just collapse right there as she had so many times before but she was _so close_. She could _see it_.

Blue eyes closed in pain to take a shaky breath and opened back up. Naga was _so close_. Republic city was _so close_. Left leg. Right leg.

_One more step to go._ Her body was tired. Arms ached, thighs ached, muscled ached, _pain._ Her leg lifted up and moved past the end of the bars.

Korra fell into a hug around Naga and _stayed on her feet_.

_I did it._

.

For once, the nightmares didn't come. At least, not on the level of terror that they usually came packaged with.

The two bars were cold in her steely grip. Her arms still ached, her feet barely scraping the ground. The view of her pathetic legs filled Korra's vision. She couldn't stand to look at them.

So she turned her attention up, towards the end of the bars. A beautiful woman in a tailored leather jacket stood there with her hands clasped over her heart. Obvious hope mixed with fear shined in her beautiful jade eyes.

"Come on Korra," the woman encouraged. "Come back to me."

"I'm working on it," Korra strained to say through gritted teeth. She shifted her left leg forward first and hesitantly took the first step. Right leg. It was easier this time. Less resistance. Left leg, even easier. Left, right, left, right.

With every step, it got easier, as if the closer she got to the beautiful woman, the less overbearing her struggle felt. Soon she was at the end of the bars, face to face with those green eyes.

"You did it, Korra." She was smiling now. "I missed you."

The woman reached out and put her arms around the Avatar, who fell into the embrace eagerly. The moment seemed to stand still in time.

"Now come back for real. . .you're almost there," the woman whispered, then began to dissolve into nothingness until Korra was left holding nothing.

She awoke, stricken by the sudden loss of a mere figment of her dreams.

How she missed the real thing.

. . .

_Lightweight fabric, airstreamed form, collapsability_. Asami had to admit, she was quite proud of her design.

". . . The ability to fly . . . I hope you realzie that you're brilliant, Miss Sato. This is a revolutionary breakthrough for the aribenders." Tenzin said proudly to the engineer. "How did you come up with this?" the master asked.

"Well, as horrible as Zaheer was, he did an amazing, and useful, feat with airbending. Imagine what that power could do in the hands of the right people." Asami smiled. "And who better than the Air Nation?"

That, and the side project helped keep her busy when she was on break from working on Republic City's infrastructure. She couldn't bear her free moments these days. Too much time to think equals too much time to dwell on the past equals being too out of it to successfully continue working. She needed something to work on constantly, otherwise she'd go insane. Thus, the countless "revolutionary" inventions that were made from her personal need, but Tenzin didn't need to know that.

"Ah, I see . . . Though I do have one question . . . why do all these desings use Korra as a model?"

She could come up with the excuse that all the natural born airbenders were too young, or that she needed a certain physique to properly match a master bender, but she knew those were all lies. Certain physique indeed.

Asami blushed.

. . .

Sometimes, on nights when terrors haunt her dreams, she just stands (finally, _finally_ she can stand on her own now) on her balcony in her wheelchair and stares at the moon: a small comfort. Tonight, it's a full circle shining radiantly in the night sky.

The story of Yue comes to mind, of how Sokka's first love gave up her humanity to save the existence of such an important aspect of nature. As a natural water bender, the story had always fascinated her. After all, the moon was the original waterbender.

But even more fascinating than that was that Yue couldn't bend. With solely her spirit, she had single handedly saved not just the world, but what all the waterbenders _lived for_. To her, that was _amazing_. And maybe, just maybe, when hearing Yue's story as a child, Korra had her first crush on the nonbender.

Maybe it was completely unrelated, but she couldn't help but think of Asami when she gazed at the moon.

. . .

Korra threw every fiber of her muscles into her bending forms under the morning sun. It had taken a year and a half, but she had finally recovered phsycially. The first step she took that day with Katara had been a mile of progress for her, and since then she has accelerated past even the expectations of the healers.

But she still couldn't go back yet. She still wasn't a hundred percent. She was a step slower, an inch off balance, a smidge weaker. Not to mention the fact that, according to Katara's hesitant honesty, she was significantly behind in her mental recuperation.

Her concentration is interrupted when the low moan of a sky bison stops her in her tracks. Her heart leaps into her throat in excitement and a sudden surge of excitement washes over her. Her head turns to the sky to watch Oogi descend smoothly into the courtyard a few yards away from her.

Rushing towards the bison and its occupant (she can run now, oh spirits, she can run now) she feels hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he brought someone else with him.

Korra captures Tenzin into a giant platypus-bear hug. "It's so good to see you!"

"How have you been Korra? You look great!" Nope, just him. But her joy at seeing her old master temporarily filled up any gaps in her mood.

"I feel great! Come on, I wanna show you how much better I've been doing." Korra grabbed Tenzin's arm and rushed off to the training courtyard, excited to show off her drastic improvement.

.

Three White Lotus gaurds dressed in red stood at the opposite end of the courtyard in solid stances. Korra stared at them with a mischievious glint in her eye. She could totally take them. Just like before. _She had to be able to do this by now, right?_

Simultaneously, the grunts started their offensive. A weak fire punch here, another there. Half a fire kick over there.

The White Lotus guards are obviously holding back. A spark of irritation rises in Korra. She's worked hard to get here and she's not just gonna stand here and be treated like a delicate cracked piece of glass. _I don't want to be that anymore._

"Attack. _I can take it_," she demands.

An unsure look passes between the guards before they nod and send a flurry of stronger strikes. Korra dodges, counter attacks, breaks through the offensive as masterfully as she did on the day of her firebending test four years ago.

Korra breaks through a wall of fire effortlessly with a smile on her face. _This_ is what it used to be like, this _has_ to be proof that she's _finally_ gotten better.

Suddently, she sees Zaheer flying towards her in a gust of deadly air. It lasts for only a split second, but it takes all of her control to push it out her mind.

She falters for only a moment, but it's enough for the guards to gain the upper hand. A blast of fire strikes her in the chest, blocked at the last minute by her forearms. "Ungh!" she grunts, closing her eyes. She sends off frantic strikes in all directions, not even bothering to hit a target, before she falls unceremoniously on the ground.

_I failed._

Tenzin rushes over to her and puts his hand on her back. "Alright, the sparring match is over." He hold out a hand to signal the guards to leave.

_I failed_.

Korra removes the slightly charred helmet from her head and looks down at the ground, away from the pity in the eyes of her audience.

"I thought I was ready."

_I failed._

"There is no shame in taking the time you need to make a full recovery," Tenzin comforted. "Being the Avatar can wait."

_I failed here. I failed myself. I failed the world._

Korra closes eyes for a moment and furrows her brows. "But what about the Earth Kingdom? I hear it's still a mess out there." She's heard the stories from her father on the days that he comes back from diplomatic meetings with the leaders of other nations. She enjoyed listening to Tonraq's stories, and was especially interested in the current state of the world. But knowing about issues wasn't enough. _She_ had to be the one to fix them. _That was her job._

"The situation has been stabilizing since Kuvira took charge."

"But that should be _me_ out there, fixing things," Korra retorts. "Not _her_."

"I know you want to help, but trust me, everyone has this under control. I just think you need to-" Tenzin freezes at the sudden darkening of her expression.

"If you say 'be patient,' I swear I am gonna _water-smack you in the mouth._" As much as she missed Tenzin, she did not need to hear his spiritual holier-than-thou mumbo jumbo. It's been a year. She's _definitely_ been patient.

"Noo.. I was... going to say you need to...not worry about the future." An unimpressed frown overtakes her face as she silently wills Tenzin to shut up. "Be grateful for where you are now and the progress you've made."

Korra throws her helmet down and storms away.

She needed to get away from this.

.

Korra airbent herself to the top of the roof of the White Lotus Compound's central building and sat in a lotus position by its edge.

_Why_ couldn't she get herself together? She should be better by now, but every time she thinks she's reached that point, she's remind time and time again that _she's not better._ She still feels the air being stripped from her lungs, she still feels Raava's light getting ripped out of her, she still feels being severed from her past lives, she still feels the phantom feeling of having her bending taken away. _She feels every time that she has been hurt._

Korra closes her eyes for a moment to recollect herself then stares absentmindedly around the compound. The entire place is empty, the halls deserted. Stars litter the sky. Has she really been here that long?

She suddenly feels extremely lonely. The compound is rather large and has everything she needs physically, but she misses _people_. The White Lotus Guards act more like servants than members of an honorable elite group. Her parents and Katara are a gift but she can't connect them the way she could with her friends, especially like . . . Korra stopped herself.

She hadn't let herself think about Asami in a while.

She wounders if this is how Asami feels. All alone in that big mansion, without very many around that actually _understood_ her. Korra knew more than anyone else that Asami was more than what met the eye.

She wishes Asami were here. She wishes she had accepted her friend's offer to come with her. But that couldn't happen.

She remembers the original reason why she left, so that she wouldn't burden Asami. And she is so, _so_ close to being better again. Then she can go back and show Asami and Mako and Bolin that she's become stronger than ever.

She just had to get there first.

Maybe she should at least write back.

. . .

A few weeks later, Korra makes her first attempt at trying to write a letter. It's at this point that she realizes she has no idea how to write to anyone that is not named Mom and Dad.

What is she even supposed to say? Hey, I know it's almost been like two years, but what's up?

"_Dear Asami," _she wrote. Ok now what?

Korra placed her face in her palms. This was so stupid. Why did she think this was a good idea in the first place? She picked up her pen and started again.

"_So, good news, I can walk now. And fight. And have been able to for months. Sorry for not telling you. And for not writing back. And for being a crappy friend on top of being a crappy Avatar. And for being a crappy letter writer. And for being stupid. And for making this whole thing stupid."_

Korra let out a moan of frustration as she crumpled up the pathetic piece of writing. She threw the wad into a corner of the room in hopes of letting it be forgotten.

It never was.

. . .

It has almost been two years when Asami gets an unexpected letter in the mail. It's strange really. No one ever sends letters to her actual home, instead opting to send it to her office for business reasons.

This is certainly a surprise.

Her heart is beating at a thousand miles a minute, excitement filling up every pore. Maybe it's Korra. Maybe she _finally_ wrote back.

The businesswoman doesn't even stop to look at the envelope's details before grabbing it and rushing into the house.

She sits in the chair by the fireplace where she comes up with most of her break throughs at home.

After taking a deep breath to steady herself, Asami allows herself to turn over the letter to read the return address.

_Hiroshi Sato_

_Republic City Prison_

_345 Serpent Dr._

_44554 Republic City, United Republic_

Her heart stops, painfully so. The excitement that had previously thrummed through her was replaced with absolute dread.

In her shock, Asami drops the letter and lets it fall under the chair where it could be forgotten.

It never was.

. . .

"_Dear Asami,"_

Korra started again. Since her first attempt, she had tried time and time again to get somthing out, and now there was a substantial pile of crumpled letters in the corner of her room.

Now the dreams and flashbacks were getting out of hand. Even though she had gotten better physcially, her mind had seemed to become even worse. Not only did she ream of those who have hurt her, but she dreams of those she has hurt. Asami was the most prominent one on that list.

This wasn't right. Keeping everyone at a distance wasn't right. Keeping her fears and emotions bottled up wasn't right, and she had gotten to the point where she _needed_ a way to get it out. Asami appeared in her head as the best option.

_"I'm sorry I haven't written to you sooner, but every time I've tried, I never knew what to say. The past two years have been the hardest of my life. _

_Even though I can get around fine now, I still can't go into the Avatar State. I keep having visions of Zaheer, and what happened that day. _

_Katara thinks a lot of this is in my head, so I've been meditating a lot. But sometimes, I worry I'll never fully recover._

_Please don't tell Mako and Bolin I wrote to you and not them. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but it's easier to tell you about this stuff. I don't think they'd understand. _

_Love,_

_Korra_

_P.S. I miss you too. "_

.

. . .

Asami is proud of all the work she has accomplished over the past two and a half years.

Asami sees statue of korra, designed it herself, designs the park

purposefully doesn't make it exactly like her. nothing can replace the real thing

wait to see what they say about it in the show

gets the letter

. . .

Korra misses her friends. She misses everyone back in the city. Asami, Bolin, Mako, Tenzin, Pema, Jinora, Ikki, Meelo. Hell, she even misses Beifong.

Meditating on the roof once again, she thinks deeply about the next step she will take towards healing.

Maybe the South Pole wasn't where she needed to be. Maybe she acoomplished everything she needed to here. Her physical healing was obviously a success, but she's been stuck in the same state for over a year now. If she hasn't been progressing here, then obviously something hasn't been working.

Maybe it was time to go back.

.

That evening at the dinner table, Korra finds that she has no appetite. There's no room for an apetite when she hungers to leave this place, to heal. She half-heartedly picks at her food.

"Everything alright, sweetie?" Senna asks.

Korra puts her fork down and looks up to make eye contact with her parents. "There's something I need to tell you both."

Tonraq raises an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Korra takes a deep breath that helps to solidify her decision. "I want to go back to Republic City."

"Are you sure?"

She was. "I...know I'm not a hundred percent yet, but I feel like I've hit a wall. I need to be where the action is. Where my friends are."

Her parents look at each other and nod in support of their daughter.

Tonraq turns to Korra to give her their blessing. "I'll have the White Lotus prepare a boat, and they can take you back to Republic City as soon as you're ready."

"No, I want to go alone. And have some time to clear my head. It'll be good for me." The words felt familiar on her tongue. She remebers the last time she said that, when she said declined Asami's offer over two years ago.

She didn't mean it then, but she meant it now, if for strange reasons. As much as she loved the people in her life, they could only heal her so much. Asami provided comfort, Katara healed her physically, but the rest was something even they couldn't fix single handedly.

Korra knew the rest was up to her.

.

The vast endless expanse of blue in every direction, teeming with life invisible to the eye filled Korra with a joy she hadn't felt since before . . . she didn't want to think about that right now. It would taint the moment.

Korra stood alone on her boat and couldn't help but beam at all that she saw.

It was beautiful.

.

She is a step behind, a second slower. She doesn't react fast enough. The thieves get away with barely a fight.

"You sure she's the Avatar?"

Korra isn't sure herself.

.

The full moon shines brightly over the midnight blues of the ocean. Korra can make out the lights of Republic City in the distance, reminding her of the first time she came to the city just to train with Tenzin. It's strange to think about all that's happened since then.

Even through the thick fog, Korra knows she is close. Part of her is excited, honestly. Excited to see her friends again, to see the air kids, to see _Asami_.

So why does she feel afraid?

As she nears the city, a crop of rock becomes visible through the fog, sprouting up through the water. Atop it, Korra sees a figure that turns her body to ice.

She sees _herself_, she sees a _monster_. The Phantom Korra's eyes are aglow similar to that of Raava's light, but Korra knows there is no light within that...thing. The Phantom's face is drawn tight into focused rage, threatening Korra away from the city. _You do not belong here_ it seems to say with its body language.

Korra forgets every ounce of excitement she had only moments beforehand, and the previous smidge of fear overtakes her entire body. A sweat breaks out on her forehead, and she is almost paralyzed and what she sees before her.

She turns back.

. . .

The full moon shines through the lights of Republic City as usual, and Asami is thankful for the light as she oversees the overnight work on the rail system.

This has to be the biggest project she has overtaken so far, and she knows they need ever moment to get it ready in an efficient manner. Instead of hiring a construction manager, Asami does it herself, as she has with every other project.

She tells herself that it's to cut costs, but she knows it's so that she can stay busy. Free time is bad. Free time leads to realizing how lonely she is. Free time leads to thinking about those letters from her dad, and Korra . . .

Asami stops herself before she gets too far and tries to turn her attention to the blueprint in her hands, but now she can't focus.

Instead, she looks off to the horizon towards the ocean. She thinks she sees a small ship for a second. Weird, she thought. Personal small ships like that usually aren't out this late.

Maybe she was just seeing things, because in only a moment, it was gone.

. . .

Korra lands her boat by a small coastal village on what looks to be the outskirts of the Earth Kingdom. It's small, dark, quiet. It's exactly what she needs, the opposite of Republic city. She wants to forget that _thing_.

She walks absent-mindedly down a dirt path through the village, thinking it's deserted, when suddently, a little girl's voice pierces through the night.

"Mommy!"

A deathly blaze of fire shoots out from an alley a few yards in front of her. _That can't be good. No way can that be good._ Korra rushes over to see what happened, and the sight breaks her heart and enrages her, all at the same time.

A little girl with wavy black hair and bright green eyes is cowering up against a wall, her arms tucked in and tears running down their face as she stares at the sight in horror. In front of the girl, a man who Korra assumes is the child's father lays on the ground, dead or alive, Korra isn't sure.

But she is definitely sure about the mother. A firebender looms over the form of a woman's charred remains with a flame in one hand and a bag in the other. He seems to be staggaring, obviously drunk.

Korra grits her teeth in range and launches herself at the firebender and pins him against the wall. "_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE." _

The firebender's bloodshot eyes widen in fear for just a moment before he raises a flaming fist to strike at Korra. She easily deflects it and thrusts her own fist into his face with as much force as she can muster.

Blood spurts from the man's broken nose as he falls to the ground unconscious. _Shame_ Korra thinks, she wanted him to suffer.

Korra walks toward him slowly with flame around her fist. She wants _so badly_ to end him for hurting that little girl and her family. People like this man hurt Mako, hurt Bolin, hurt Asami. People like this man are the reason men like Amon and Zaheer wanted to change the world. People like this man are the reason that Korra had to fight against them.

People like this man make Korra want to kill.

She raises her first and is about to strike when a little pair of arms grab her from behind. "No, stop!"

Korra freezes, taken completely by surprise. She feels the little girl bury her face into the small of her back. "Please don't kill him . . . I don't want anyone else to die."

Korra's heart breaks at what she is hearing. She turns around and kneels down to look the child in her green, tear streaked eyes. "What's your name sweetie?" she asks. As she waits for the shy girl to answer, she can't help but think of how much this little girl reminds her of Asami. She wishes her friend was here, Asami would know what to do. She _lived_ this situation.

"Akari . . . what's yours?"

Korra gives a sad smile. "I'm Korra."

Akari gasps. "You're the Avatar," she says quietly in amazement. She hugs Korra around the shoulders. "Thank you for saving me and my dad." _Did she even deserve thanks? When she couldn't even save this girls mother?_

As if responding to Akari's statement, a low grown is heard coming from the girl's father. He looks dazed and looks around and freezes on the remains of his wife.

"NO!" he screams in anguish. He stumbles over to his wife's side and begins to sob. Korra didn't think it was possible for her heart to break more, but it did. She watched dazedly and stood up when Akari went to her father's side to comfort him, both of them shedding tears.

Korra felt useless. What could she do? She couldn't bring the woman back from the dead.

She seemed to stay there for hours in silence, not wanting to intrude on the family's time of mourning, but not wanting to leave them out here alone.

Daylight started to creep into the sky on the horizon. When the man finally calmed and Akari let go of him.

saves a little girl and her parents from a firebender

In this moment, she remembers what it was like to be the Avatar.

gives her the bag then asks her to leave, they need to be alone right now

Phantom shows up

.

dream of being back in tree of time, memories of asami

.

North pole

portal

tree of time spirits everywhere

"Everyone, come here. It's the Avatar!"

"You sure?" skeptical "I don't sense any Raava energy around her. Besides, she's not dressed like the Avatar. And doesn't the Avatar have ponytails?"

annoyed "Do you mind? I'm trying to concentrate here. And yes, I _am_ the Avatar, I'm just wearing different clothes and I cut my hair."

"See! I told you guys it was her!"

waddles over "How come you've been away for so long?"

"I was hurt pretty bad a while ago, and lost touch with my Avatar spirit."

"No wonder I couldn't feel Raava's energy."

"I came to the Tree of Time hoping to reconnect with Raava, and turn on the Avatar State again...but it's not working" spirit crawls into her lap. "The last time I was here, I saw all sorts of visions. Now I don't see anything."

"Maybe we can help you get better."

picks spirit off her lap "I'm sorry, but for _years_ people have been saying they can help me get better. Nothing's worked. I need to figure this out on my own."

.

sails through icebergs away from portal, sees spirit korra

.

fire nation volcanoes, spirit korra in river of lava

.

desert

sees raava, disappointed

sees asami, gets some semblance of comfort, embrace fades away,

disappointed

. . .

first episode stuff

Zuko plaza

"And of course, my biggest thanks goes to Asami Sato and Future Industries. She brought our old central terminal into the modern era. Ladies and gentlemen, the world is entering a new age of peace and prosperity. Soon, Prince Wu will take his rightful place on the Earth Kingdom throne, and thanks to our updated rail system, Republic City and the Earth Kingdom will be united like never before."

crowd cheers, asami cuts ribbon

"Hey there, Asami right? _Great_ train house. Maybe you could give me a personal tour sometime. Whaddaya say?"

"I do like the idea of putting you on a train and sending you far, far away." crosses arms

"Ahaha oo, that's, that's funny. I _like_ funny dames. Maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Prince Wu, _future king_."

"Yeah...I'm aware of who you are."

"Don't let my reputation intimidate you. I'm still human just like everyone else, only more human. Like, extra human, or, _superhuman_."

"_Super_ human."

"So whaddaya say? Can I show you a lowkey night out with a superhuman soon to be king?"

"Prince Wu, President Raiko has some really important king stuff he has to talk to you about."

"Now?" sigh "fiiiine. Think over the offer" blows kiss "I'll be back."

"He's a real charmer, huh."

"He's...something. How can you stand being his body guard?"

"Well, I just remind myself that, once he's on the throne, I go back to being a detective."

"And that works?"

"I also go home and smash my head into the wall for an hour. You know, just to get the stress out."

laughs "It's good to see you, Mako. It's been too long. You hear from Bolin lately?"

"I haven't talked to him in a while, but he's coming in a few days for the coronation, and Beifong told me that Korra is getting in tonight."

"I can't _wait_ to see her." looks off into the distance "It's gonna be weird, having the old Team Avatar back in the city after all these years.

.

playing with pabu, talking to tenzin and kids

"There's a Southern Water Tribe ship pulling into the dock."

"Korra!"

.

"Tonraq, it's good to have you back in the city. And everyone is excited to see the Avatar again."

"What do you mean? Isn't Korra already here?"

"No. We thought she was coming with you."

"Korra left the South Pole six months ago. She's written me letters. She said that she was here in Republic City."

"I assure you, your daughters not here."

"Then, where is she?"

. . .

Earth kingdom town

sees spirit korra at the foot of some stairs, walks away

"I am _ending this_." jumps over fence, lands onto roof, reflects on her physical progress, mad at her lack of spiritual progress

standing in ring

"Who do I talk to about getting in the ring?" she demands

ding ding

gets hit by rocks, vision blurs, spirit korra

"Is that all you got!"

gets knocked down

before she blacks out, sees asami's concerned face in front of her, hallucination

.

heals herself in bathroom

"Hurry up in there!

.

shadow

puppy

"Where'd you come from, little cutie?"

puppy growls at sprit

"You can see her too?" amazement "If you can see her too, maybe I'm not going crazy."

puppy barks, it disappears

"You want me to follow you?"

"Alright. Let's see what I find."

.

"Why'd you bring me to the swamp?"

"Wait, I met you at the tree of time. You should have told me who you were."

"If I did, would you have followed me?"

"I get your point. But, why did you bring me here? What am I gonna find in the swamp?"

"Not a what. A _who_."

"No, wait!" "Come back!"

korra gets her ass beat, metal gets her and stuff

"You're just in my mind. You're not real."

"Help!"

.

wakes up in cave

"Feeling better?"

"Where am I? What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. I found you passed out in the mud."

"How'd you know I was out there?"

"I'm pretty tapped into the goings on around here. What brings you to the swamp anyway?"

"A spirit led me here and told me I was supposed to find someone. Is that you?"

"Beats me. But if your Avatar senses called you here, you should probably listen to them."

"Wait. You recognize me?"

"In a manner of speaking. We were good friends in your previous life. "

falem

"I can't believe it. Toph?"

chuckle "Nice to see you again, Twinkle Toes."

. . .

Asami upset at korra, slightly betrayed, reference korras letter and trust

...

Training with toph in the swamp, refreshing bluntness8

"Tell me what you did wrong."

"Well, I was thinking that-"

"Exactly! You were _thinking_. Try again."

"Pathetic. Of all the Avatars I've worked with, you are the worst. I know that's only one other Avatar, but still." rips leech off korras elbow

"Hey. Seems like you're enjoying having someone around to beat up and awful lot."

"Yeah, the swampbenders out here really can't take a punch."

"So, what made you want to drop out and disconnect from the rest of the world?" hypocritical

"I'm more connected to the world than you've ever been! The roots and vines, they run all over the world. I can see Su and Lin, Zao Fu and Republic City, I see _everything_."

korra tries to mischievously sneak attack, gets hit by mud "You're blind compared to me."

. . .

Asami watching coronation

"Anyone that stands in our way will be crushed." Kuvira crushes the Kyoshi medal, asami pissed, yay non bender warriors

"Kuvira is bascially just like Korra. She might be hard to deal with, but that's just cuz she's so passionate, and believes in what she's doing."

"She's kinda like Korra" bolin repeats "That was just some tough rhetoric to show that we mean business."

. . .

"...That was terrible."

"Ha! Maybe for you, I had a great time! Ah, I never realized how much I missed tormenting the Avatar. I wish you were putting up more of a fight, but it was still fun."

"You were tossing me around like a rag doll all day long."

"I knoowww, and I'm an old lady! Imagine me in my prime, haha I would have destroyed you!"

"I just don't understand why I can't get back to my former self. It's like a step slower. I'm tentative, I'm out of sync, I just can't get back in the groove."

"Probably carrying around that metal doesn't help.'

"What metal?"

"The bits of metal poison stuck in your body. Are you trying to tell me you can't feel metal in your own body? You really are the worst Avatar ever."

"I thought Su got it all out."

"No, my girls didn't really pick up metalbending all that well if you ask me."

"That's been my problem this entire time! I gotta get it out, you can get it out for me right?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" shoves hand in Korra's face and pushes her off tree root.

.

"Ok, if you want me to bend out this metal, you need to relax."

stiffens "I _am_ relaxed."

"Seriously? Your body is like a twisted tree trunk!"

picks head up "Just do it, I'm ready!" puts head back down

excessive cracking

lasdjkf;oash shoots up

"It wouldn't hurt if you'd just relax, stop fighting me!"

"I'm not fighting!" throws herself back down

visions of air around her head, curls into feel position around her gut

"That's it, you're going to have to do this yourself. _Clearly_ you want to keep the metal in there."

korra snaps around "What do you mean? Why would I _want_ poison inside me."

"I don't know, maybe so you can have an excuse to not go back to being the Avatar. If you don't get better, you can't do your job, and you don't have to worry about getting hurt again."

"Wha-that's ridiculous."

"Whatever. When you want it out, you can bend it out. I can't deal with all your issues for you."

"Wait, what am I supposed to do now?"

"How should I know? Ask the spirit that brought you here. The good news is, if you're looking for a place to hang where no one will bother you, you picked the best swamp in the world."

. . .

Asami is the one that draws the picture of korra, meelo takes it and uses it in "The calling"

. . .

Korra searching for mushrooms

visions: amon taking her bending

getting raava ripped out of her

stuck in the chains fading in and out of the avatar state, gasps and zaheer/members turn around to look back at her

in a river

sits on root thinking

convo with toph

"There you are! You got my dinner yet?"

No. This swamp...it did crazy things to my mind. I-I had visions. Of all the times my enemies hurt me."

"Yeah, I figured something like that might happen."

"_What_? You _wanted_ me to see those visions?! You are one _twisted_ old lady, ya know that?"

"Look, I know you want to get better, and so does the swamp. It can sense you're out of balance. It will teach you what you need to learn, _if _you're open to listening"

sighs "Ok swamp, I'm all ears."

"You said you saw your past enemies. Now why do you think that is?"

"I don't know." unknwoing "Because they made me and a lot of people suffer." false vindication

"Sounds like you're carrying around your former enemies, the same way you're still carrying around that metal poison. You ever consider maybe you could learn something from them?"

"Sounds like the swamp's messing with your mind too."

"My mind is just fine, thank you. Listen. What did Amon want? Equality for all. Unalaq? He brought back the spirits. And Zaheer believed in freedom."

"I guess."

"The problem with was those guys were totally out of balance, and they took their idealogies too far."

"Ok fine, but that doesn't explain why they keep haunting me."

"Because you need to face your fears. You can't expect to deal with future enemies if you're still fighting the old ones."

"Maybe you're right, but how am I supposed to move on?"

"Boy, you Avatars sure need a lot of hand holding. Come on. We're going to the Bayan Grove Tree."

.

"It's beautiful."

"The roots of the Banyan Grove Tree spread out for miles in every direction, connecting this whole swamp. Your problem is you've been disconnected for too long. Disconnected from the people who love you, and disconnected from yourself."

korra lets go of root too soon to notice asami

"I can't believe it! I saw Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo, they're here!"

"Good. Hopefull they're here to take you home."

"Korra!"

. . .

Asami feels a sudden connection to korra, flash of a vision of her on the tree

. . .

"Please Korra. The world needs you back."

.

"Alright. I'm ready."

"I'm not bending it out of you. You've gotta do this on your own."

"Close your eyes. Clear your mind. And don't freak out like last time. Now, focus your energy. Find the metal. Let it move throught your body."

flashback of air

"That fight is over. Release the fear."

"Well done, Korra."

"I feel so much lighter now. Thank you so much for helping me. I'd...like to give you a hug now if that's okay with you."

"alright, you earned it.

. . .

scene of korra in her thoughts in zao fu

. . .

Asami in Avatar Korra park

nice day out, statue looks majestic

head in hands,

looks up and girl playing pai sho with her dad

remembers matches with dad, matches with bolin, matches with korra while she was healing in republic city before she left

forgives korra for leaving, forgives bolin for going with kuvira, forgives her father

he tried to kill her in his anger and grief but he was still her father

pai sho with korra makes her want to bring it to her dad, facilitate healing

Ideas:

Asami in the park, looking at the statue, worrying about her dad and wishing she had korra to talk to about it

avatar korra park, designing airbender costume

the times Korra has tried to write

New southern water tribe palace: maybe this is how asami feels; loneliness, connection to sato mansion

During journey, avatar state demon kills asami, korra watches helplessly while chained up herself, she becomes the avatar state demon herself and the perspective shifts

The banyan grove tree, "disconnected from the people who love you" sees her parents, bolin and mako, Asami, then comes back in to the airbender kids

or, before they leave, they stop by the tree "there's something I have to see" then sees all that

dreams with amon and unalaq

elemental fanfic

my love for you is as essential as air, as passionate as fire. It trembles with the earth, flows like water.

2nd chapter of to see the stars, korra goes back to zao fu after the kids find her and thinks about how asami might have been right

didnt have enough time to solidify their relationship


	2. Come Back (I'll Try)

Korra misses her friends. She misses everyone back in the city. Asami, Bolin, Mako, Tenzin, Pema, Jinora, Ikki, Meelo. Hell, she even misses Beifong.

Meditating on the roof once again, she thinks deeply about the next step she will take towards healing.

Maybe the South Pole wasn't where she needed to be. Maybe she accomplished everything she needed to here. Her physical healing was obviously a success, but she's been stuck in the same state for over a year now. If she hasn't been progressing here, then obviously something hasn't been working.

Maybe it was time to go back.

.

That evening at the dinner table, Korra finds that she has no appetite. There's no room for an appetite when she hungers to leave this place, to heal. She half-heartedly picks at her food.

"Everything alright, sweetie?" Senna asks.

Korra puts her fork down and looks up to make eye contact with her parents. "There's something I need to tell you both."

Tonraq raises an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Korra takes a deep breath that helps to solidify her decision. "I want to go back to Republic City."

"Are you sure?"

She was. "I...know I'm not a hundred percent yet, but I feel like I've hit a wall. I need to be where the action is. Where my friends are."

Her parents look at each other and nod in support of their daughter.

Tonraq turns to Korra to give her their blessing. "I'll have the White Lotus prepare a boat, and they can take you back to Republic City as soon as you're ready."

"No, I want to go alone. And have some time to clear my head. It'll be good for me." The words felt familiar on her tongue. She remembers the last time she said that, when she said declined Asami's offer over two years ago.

She didn't mean it then, but she meant it now, if for strange reasons. As much as she loved the people in her life, they could only heal her so much. Asami provided comfort, Katara healed her physically, but the rest was something even they couldn't fix single handedly.

Korra knew the rest was up to her.

.

The vast endless expanse of blue in every direction, teeming with life invisible to the eye filled Korra with a joy she hadn't felt since before . . . she didn't want to think about that right now. It would taint the moment.

Korra stood alone on her boat and couldn't help but beam at all that she saw. It reminded her of the first time she came to Republic City, all those years ago.

It was beautiful.

.

She is a step behind, a second slower. She doesn't react fast enough. The thieves get away with barely a fight.

"You sure she's the Avatar?"

Korra isn't sure herself.

.

The full moon shines brightly over the midnight blues of the ocean. Korra can make out the lights of Republic City in the distance, reminding her of the first time she came to the city just to train with Tenzin. It's strange to think about all that's happened since then.

Even through the thick fog, Korra knows she is close. Part of her is excited, honestly. Excited to see her friends again, to see the air kids, to see _Asami_.

So why does she feel afraid?

As she nears the city, a crop of rock becomes visible through the fog, sprouting up through the water. Atop it, Korra sees a figure that turns her body to ice.

She sees _herself_. She sees a _monster_. The Phantom Korra's eyes are aglow similar to that of Raava's light, but Korra knows there is no light within that . . . thing. The Phantom's face is drawn tight into focused rage, threatening Korra away from the city. _You do not belong here_ it seems to say with its body language.

Korra forgets every ounce of excitement she had only moments beforehand, and the previous smidge of fear overtakes her entire body. A sweat breaks out on her forehead, and she is almost paralyzed and what she sees before her.

She turns back.

. . .

The full moon shines through the lights of Republic City as usual, and Asami is thankful for the light as she oversees the overnight work on the rail system.

This has to be the biggest project she has overtaken so far, and she knows they need ever moment to get it ready in an efficient manner. Instead of hiring a construction manager, Asami does it herself, as she has with every other project.

She tells herself that it's to cut costs, but she knows it's so that she can stay busy. Free time is bad. Free time leads to realizing how lonely she is. Free time leads to thinking about those letters from her dad, and Korra . . .

Asami stops herself before she gets too far and tries to turn her attention to the blueprint in her hands, but now she can't focus.

Instead, she looks off to the horizon towards the ocean. She thinks she sees a small ship for a second. Weird, she thought. Personal small ships like that usually aren't out this late.

Maybe she was just seeing things, because in only a moment, it was gone.

. . .

Korra lands her boat by a small coastal village on what looks to be the outskirts of the Earth Kingdom. It's small, dark, quiet. It's exactly what she needs, the opposite of Republic city. She wants to forget that _thing_.

She walks absent-mindedly down a dirt path through the village, thinking it's deserted, when suddenly, a little girl's voice pierces through the night.

"Mommy!"

A deathly blaze of fire shoots out from an alley a few yards in front of her. _That can't be good. No way can that be good._ Korra rushes over to see what happened, and the sight breaks her heart and enrages her, all at the same time.

A little girl with wavy black hair and bright green eyes is cowering up against a wall, her arms tucked in and tears running down their face as she stares at the sight in horror. In front of the girl, a man who Korra assumes is the child's father lays on the ground, dead or alive, Korra isn't sure.

But she is definitely sure about the mother. A firebender looms over the form of a woman's charred remains with a flame in one hand and a bag in the other. He seems to be staggering, obviously drunk.

Korra grits her teeth in range and launches herself at the firebender and pins him against the wall. "_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE."_

The firebender's bloodshot eyes widen in fear for just a moment before he raises a flaming fist to strike at Korra. She easily deflects it and thrusts her own fist into his face with as much force as she can muster.

Blood spurts from the man's broken nose as he falls to the ground unconscious. _Shame_ Korra thinks, she wanted him to suffer.

Korra walks toward him slowly with flame around her fist. She wants _so badly_ to end him for hurting that little girl and her family. People like this man hurt Mako, hurt Bolin, hurt Asami. People like this man are the reason men like Amon and Zaheer wanted to change the world. People like this man are the reason that Korra had to fight against them.

People like this man make Korra want to kill.

She raises her first and is about to strike when a little pair of arms grabs her from behind. "No, stop!"

Korra freezes, taken completely by surprise. She feels the little girl bury her face into the small of her back. "Please don't kill him . . . I don't want anyone else to die."

Korra's heart breaks at what she is hearing. She turns around and kneels down to look the child in her green tear streaked eyes. "What's your name sweetie?" she asks. As she waits for the shy girl to answer, she can't help but think of how much this little girl reminds her of Asami. She wishes her friend was here, Asami would know what to do. She _lived_ this situation.

"Akari . . . what's yours?"

Korra gives a sad smile. "I'm Korra."

Akari gasps. "You're the Avatar," she says quietly in amazement. She hugs Korra around the shoulders. "Thank you for saving me and my dad." _Did she even deserve thanks? When she couldn't even save this girls mother?_

As if responding to Akari's statement, a low grown is heard coming from the girl's father. He looks dazed and looks around and freezes on the remains of his wife.

"NO!" he screams in anguish. He stumbles over to his wife's side and begins to sob. Korra didn't think it was possible for her heart to break more, but it did. She watched dazedly and stood up when Akari went to her father's side to comfort him, both of them shedding tears.

Korra felt useless. What could she do? She couldn't bring the woman back from the dead.

She seemed to stay there for hours in silence, not wanting to intrude on the family's time of mourning, but not wanting to leave them out here alone.

Daylight started to creep into the sky on the horizon. When the man finally calmed and Akari let go of him. "The Avatar saved us, daddy," she whispered.

The man finally acknowledged Korra's existence when he turned to nod at her. "Thank you," he said absentmindedly.

"It's the least I could do sir . . . I'm sorry."

"Just call me Satoshi," the father forlornly said. He let loose a sad smile. "Really. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if Akari . . ." the man looked like he was on the verge of breaking down again, but didn't.

Instead, he picked up the bag on the ground that the firebender, still unconscious on the ground, had tried to steal. "Here, take this."

Korra took a step back; she couldn't take anything from this (broken) family, not after what they had been through. "You don't have to-"

"Please. It's not much. It's just clothes I that I bought for my wi-" the man swallowed. "My wife by trading my crafts. I'm a blacksmith. There's even a ceremonial knife in there . . . I got a discount; if that even means anything . . . I have no use for this. Please. Take it."

Korra took the bag from the man's offering hands. " . . . Thank you."

Behind Satoshi, the Phantom glares at Korra with her menacing glowing eyes.

. . .

For the next two weeks, Akari and Satoshi are all she can think about. Even when she saved them, she still failed them as their Avatar. A little girl lost her mother. Just like how Mako and Bolin lost their parents. Just like how Asami lost her mother. It's the Avatar's job to protect everyone.

She couldn't protect any of them.

She can't even protect herself.

She's scared of her own self.

She's a failure.

Korra docks on yet another deserted small dock in the middle of nowhere. Not even a village around this time.

She steps out, wearing the green rural Earth Kingdom clothes given to her by Satoshi and lays the ceremonial knife out onto a rock nearby.

She can't be the Avatar. She can't even be herself.

Korra pulls her long heavy hair back and, with a deep breath, picks up the knife and chops the length of it off.

She wants to say she feels lighter.

She doesn't.

. . .

Korra decides to retrace the steps of Avatar Aang's journey as a child. It was on that journey that Aang figured out how to be the Avatar. She figures, hey, maybe it'll do the same for her.

It's not like she has anywhere else to go, anyways.

She can't go back to the South Pole where his iceberg was, so she goes for the next best thing. The North. Korra can't stand the though of visiting her . . . eccentric cousins. Instead, she opts for the spirit portal. She may be retracing Aang's journey, but she wants to make her own stops too.

Besides, there's something she needs to see, or rather, someone. Raava.

She hasn't felt Raava since . . . that day. And even then, it was forced. _What kind of Avatar can't even go into the Avatar State?_ Maybe if she goes to the Tree of Time, she can connect with Raava. At the very least, she can remember how it felt to connect with her inner light at all.

Instead, she is left with blank walls of bark.

The spirits are cute. But they can't help any more than anyone else could.

"Maybe we can help you get better."

She picks the little guy up off her lap. "I'm sorry, but for _years_ people have been saying they can help me get better. Nothing's worked. I need to figure this out on my own."

She was alone.

.

Everywhere Korra went, she was alone. Well, it was just Korra and the Phantom, who was, in essence, still just Korra.

Through the water at sea, through the volcanoes of the fire nation, it was just Korra and the Phantom. She's been halfway around the world, and she still hasn't learned anything.

The Si Wong Desert's heat makes Korra feel like it's melting her brain into a muddle. She never thought she could get any darker than she already was, but the sweltering sun begs to differ. She looks off into the distance, wondering how long it will be 'til she gets out of here. Was it even worth it?

The sun shifts into the form of a spirit, majestic and bright, beckoning Korra to come towards it.

"Raava!" she yells, ecstatic that she had _finally_ found her inner light. She runs as fast as her weak legs can carry, slipping and tumbling through the sand as she climbs clumsily up the large sand dune. She reaches the top, heart racing, lungs gasping for air, eyes darting in search for Raava.

But there is nothing, nothing but the glare of the bright, hot sun, nothing but the absence of light or hope or any end in sight, nothing but Korra, alone.

She falls to her knees, sinking into the loose sand, and hangs her head down dejectedly. She doesn't know how long she stays there. A minute? An hour? The sun moves slowly and quickly, all at the same time, across the sky.

A soft hand slowly settles on Korra's shoulder. "You're not alone," a familiar voice speaks in front of her.

The Avatar starts, throwing her head up to look into a familiar face. "A-Asami?"

Asami smiles (Korra thinks she's beautiful. "Just know you're not alone." She reaches a hand out to Korra, that the Avatar hesitantly takes, and pulls the shorter girl up.

Asami steps to the side and extends her arm in the direction to a small spot in the distance that looks to be a village. "You're just not."

Asami flickers and fades away.

Korra isn't sure what to think, though she has a vague sense of longing beneath her shock.

_You can trust Asami. _

Korra begins to walk towards the spot in the distance.

. . .

Zuko Plaza bustles with excitement for the new addition to Republic City. President Raiko's voice radiated out over the buzz.

"And of course, my biggest thanks goes to Asami Sato and Future Industries. She brought our old central terminal into the modern era. Ladies and gentlemen, the world is entering a new age of peace and prosperity. Soon, Prince Wu will take his rightful place on the Earth Kingdom throne, and thanks to our updated rail system, Republic City and the Earth Kingdom will be united like never before."

The audience gave a polite clap of appreciation. Asami beamed. This was her favorite project so far. It involved the best challenges all into one; new layout, consideration of existing obstacles, come up with rail system, design the infrastructure, design the train, design the engines, design the tunnels; there was no time to think about anything else, and Asami was grateful.

She picked up the giant scissors off the pillow presented to her and smiled gracefully at the camera as she cute the ribbon. _But what is she supposed to do now?_

.

The plaza has cleared of most of the audience by now, and Asami finds herself staring at the flame burning in the hand of Zuko's statue. She wonders what it was like for him to be friends the Avatar. _ It certainly wasn't easy_.

Asami sighs. Here she is, thinking about Korra again. _This is what happens when you have free time, Asami_.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sudden intrusion of Prince Wu's face blocking her view of the statue.

"Hey there, Asami right?" his goofy voice immediately irritates her. "_Great_ train house." _Train house?_ Oh hell no. This was not a _train house_. This was a feat of months of engineering expertise and effort. One would think that the heir of an entire kingdom would be a bit more eloquent. "Maybe you could give me a personal tour sometime. Whaddaya say?" Wu leaned in closer and closer with every word, and did a sad excuse of an eyebrow waggle. _Definitely nowhere near Korra's._

"I do like the idea of putting you on a train and sending you far, far away." Asami steps back and crosses her arms. Just who does this guy think he is?

"Ahaha oh, that's, that's funny. I _like_ funny dames." This guy just didn't stop, did he? Who the hell says _dame_? "Maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Prince Wu, _future king_."

"Yeah...I'm aware of who you are." _And I'm aware that you have five seconds to back up before I electrocute you with this glove. _The weight of her glove in the hidden compartment of her poncho seemed heavier with temptation at this moment.

"Don't let my reputation intimidate you. I'm still human just like everyone else, only more human. Like, extra human, or, _superhuman_."

If irritating was synonymous with human, then this guy definitely was. "_Super_ human."

"So whaddaya say? Can I show you a low key night out with a superhuman soon to be king?" Asami could do nothing but stare at this guy in silence. Were people seriously this stupid? Was that even possible?

Mako's voice suddenly spoke up. "Prince Wu, President Raiko has some really important king stuff he has to talk to you about." Asami had never been so thankful for her old friend's presence.

"Now?" Prince Wu exclaimed indignantly? Mako just stared him down in silence. The man-boy sighed. "Fiiiine. Think over the offer," Wu said to Asami as he blew a kiss. "I'll be back."

Mako waited until Wu was out of earshot before he spoke. "He's a real charmer, huh."

"He's...something." Asami said. Like really, how is someone _that_ irritating? "How can you stand being his body guard?" she asked Mako. She looked him up and down. The uniform fit him, so did the hair. Same old by-the-book Mako, Asami thought with affection.

"Well, I just remind myself that, once he's on the throne, I go back to being a detective."

"And that works?"

"I also go home and smash my head into the wall for an hour. You know, just to get the stress out."

Asami laughed. She missed his subtle sense of humor. Hell, she missed _laughing._ She hadn't done so since Team Avatar split up. Both she and Mako had been too busy to hang out ever since they threw themselves into their respective careers. She missed all of them. "It's good to see you, Mako. It's been too long. You hear from Bolin lately?"

_Have you heard from Korra_ she almost said, but considering last year's letter, she thought it best not to ask.

"I haven't talked to him in a while, but he's coming in a few days for the coronation, and Beifong told me that Korra is getting in tonight." Asami swore, her heart stopped for a moment. She's coming back? She's really coming back?

"I can't _wait_ to see her." Her voice is full of hope that she doesn't even try to hide. _Korra's really coming back. _Asami can't help but look to the side and imagine what it will be like with Korra back again. How is she? Is she better now? Hell, Asami was sick with worry ever since she got that letter. But now both Korra and Bolin were gonna be back, the old gang will back together. She looks back at Mako. "It's gonna be weird, having the old Team Avatar back in the city after all these years."

.

Over the years, Asami has gotten close with Tenzin's family. They were always so welcoming, and they always treated Asami like she was one of their own. Airbenders were famous for their hospitality, after all.

That, and they all undoubtedly shared in the excitement of Korra's return. Korra was family, after all. And for Asami, Korra was . . . well, she wanted to find out what they were, after all these years of wondering. In just a few minutes, Korra would be back in her arms, her lips would- Asami stopped her train of thought.

Where did that come from?

Asami hunted for a distraction (she's gotten good at that) and began to play with Pabu.

All the feelings she's repressed with work were finally able to come to the surface. Asami finally didn't have to worry about missing Korra anymore.

The room stopped all of a sudden and looked at the frantic acolyte that appeared in the doorway.

"There's a Southern Water Tribe ship pulling into the dock."

"Korra!" the air kids exclaimed, running off into the hall.

Asami thought her face would crack in half with how wide her smile was.

.

Asami thought her heart would crack in half when _Korra wasn't there._

.

She sat alone in her mansion, an empty bottle of sake on the table beside her. Just another distraction to keep her from replaying the last hour in her head. But she did it anyway.

_"What do you mean? Isn't Korra already here?" No . . ._

_"No. We thought she was coming with you." No . . . she wouldn't . . ._

_"Korra left the South Pole six months ago. She's written me letters. She said that she was here in Republic City." How could she . . . _

_"I assure you, your daughters not here." Korra's. Not. Here. _

_"Then, where is she?" Tonraq's voice echoed her thoughts. _

"Where are you, Korra . . .?" Asami mumbled to no one, before the alcohol overtook her body and she slipped into unconsciousness.

. . .

_Even when she's a mirage, she's always right _Korra thought, as she entered the run down Earth Kingdom city that 'Asami' had pointed out to her in the desert.

Spirits, she missed her. She was almost there. She just had to get herself sorted out first.

As if called by her thoughts, the Phantom appeared at the foot of the stairs on Korra's path. It stared ominously at her, then suddenly ran off and jumped over a wooden fence down an adjacent alley.

"I am ending this," Korra said with irritation. It had been long enough; she had been gone long enough. This had to be sorted out.

She sprinted off down the alley, hopping over a fence, dropping suddenly, but landing gracefully on the roof directly beneath it. Korra allowed herself to be proud of her physical progress, but only for a moment. She can jump onto roofs but she can't even get her shit together.

Beneath her, the Phantom at her glared at her once more before turning to enter a beat up building behind it.

Korra followed closely. The surroundings were unexpected. The room surrounded a metal grate that stood over a ring that extended into the ground. It was hot and stuffy with the sweat of fighters in the ring and audience members alike. Within the ring, a fast paced battle raged. Yuans passed between the grimy hands of men betting on fighters.

"Who do I talk to about getting in the ring?" Korra demanded from one of the men collecting bets.

.

A large chunk of Earth hit Korra square in the chest from her opponent. Her vision blurred. _Fuck, that hurt_. _When did I get on the ground_?

Korra looked up at her enemy. The woman's shape ebbed and shifted with each fluctuation of Korra's vision. Slowly, the woman shifted into the Phantom, glowing eyes glaring at Korra.

The Avatar struggled to get back on her feet. "Is that all you got!" Korra yelled in frustration.

The Phantom jumped high into the air, lifting a chunk of rock with it, hurling it at breakneck speed towards Korra's prone body. Her vision flashed, remembering the battle with Zaheer. _Her muscles ache as they hurl rocks out of control in desperation. She can't control herself. _

The impact shocked Korra to the core, knocking her onto her side on the ground.

Her vision fluctuates more violently this time. The Phantom looms over her menacingly. Her vision fades to and from consciousness.

The Phantom shifts, and Korra sees Asami's concerned face before her.

She blacks out.

. . .

Asami isn't sure what to think of Kuvira's speech. But, she had to admit; restoring order to an empire was no small feat. Kuvira was obviously a capable leader. But to completely take control? To complete get rid of the monarch? That kind of change was one that Asami wasn't sure the world could handle.

Wu was the rightful heir, so he should have the throne. Right?

But after meeting him, Asami knew that the only thing he was good for was being a seat warmer for the Earth Kingdom throne. He wouldn't have run the kingdom anyway, his council would, and they were just as idiotic from what Asami had seen.

She was on her way to Mako's hotel room to ask what he thought when he heard the distinctive noise of bickering brothers.

"That was just some tough rhetoric to show people that we mean business. I mean, Kuvira is-is basically just like Korra. She might be hard to deal with, but it's just because she's so passionate, and- and believes in what she's doing," she hear Bolin say.

Asami froze and made a face. How could some dictator like Kuvira be like Korra. Kuvira just burst through the empire and got people to do her wishes with force- oh. Bolin had a point.

She remembers that _irritating_ way that Korra beat up everything that she didn't like and tackled problem with a fight, which usually ended up in the "all-powerful" Avatar getting hurt like the stupid adorable idiot she was. She still remembers that stupid, grin (it never failed to make Asami's heart skip a beat) that Korra got on her face every time she accomplished something. Every time she won a pro-bending match or bested an Equalist all those years ago. The way Korra was so confident in everything she did.

But Korra wouldn't stand for this. Right?

But what did it matter. Korra wasn't here anyways. Asami tries her best every day not to be upset with her friend for not showing up, but she couldn't help but be hurt. She just felt so let down. And now, the world needed their Avatar, and Asami needed her Korra.

And when did Korra become _her_ Korra anyways?

Asami shook her head in confusion. She turned and left, forgetting the reason she came here in the first place.

. . .

Korra had to admit, Toph's bluntness was refreshing, if a little damaging. And by damaging, she means the fact that every bone in her body throbs with the absolute ass whooping that Toph has been handing to her.

"Tell me what you did wrong," the blind master demanded.

"Well, I was thinking that-"

"Exactly! You were _thinking_. Try again." Korra attempted another attack and, just like every time before, ended up landing without an ounce of grace in the mud.

Toph scoffed. "Pathetic. Of all the Avatars I've worked with, you are the worst. I know that's only one other Avatar, but still."

Korra lifted her arm and ripped a leech off her elbow. "Hey. Seems like you're enjoying having someone around to beat up and awful lot."

"Yeah, the swampbenders out here really can't take a punch."

"So, what made you want to drop out and disconnect from the rest of the world?" Korra wanted to believe that Toph was just like her. She couldn't have been the only one that disappeared for a while right?

"I'm more connected to the world than you've ever been!" Well there goes that idea. "The roots and vines, they run all over the world. I can see Su and Lin, Zao Fu and Republic City, I see _everything_."

She saw how confident Toph stood on the root of the tree. Maybe now that she's not touching the ground, Korra could get the best of the master.

She sneakily bent a whip of water up and, with a sly grin, launched it at Toph. Suddenly a shot of mud smacked her in the face and onto the ground.

"You're blind compared to me," Toph reprimanded.

Korra sighed. She really was.

. . .

Asami sighed, staring at the drawing it front of her.

She did it again. In her absent-minded doodling she drew another picture of Korra. Really, this was getting out of hand. And there was nothing left to design to put her mind on something else.

Asami let out a frustrated groan and left the room

.

Meelo sneaked into Pretty Lady's room. The little airbender darted around the room, looking for something new to play with. Asami always had the coolest stuff.

But the boy froze when he got to the pretty lady's desk. An extremely detailed picture of Korra lay on the desk.

_Coooool_ Meelo thought.

.

When Asami returned to her room, her drawing of Korra was missing.

_Well shit._

. . .

" . . .That was terrible," Korra groaned as they walked towards Toph's cave.

"Ha! Maybe for you, I had a great time! Ah, I never realized how much I missed tormenting the Avatar. I wish you were putting up more of a fight, but it was still fun."

"You were tossing me around like a rag doll all day long," Korra complained.

"I knoowww, and I'm an old lady! Imagine me in my prime, haha I would have destroyed you!"

"I just don't understand why I can't get back to my former self. It's like a step slower. I'm tentative, I'm out of sync, I just can't get back in the groove." She seriously couldn't be _that_ bad right?

"Probably carrying around that metal doesn't help." Korra froze. What?

"What metal?" she demanded.

"The bits of metal poison stuck in your body. Are you trying to tell me you can't feel metal in your own body? You really are the worst Avatar ever."

Korra's heart started to race. "I thought Su got it all out."

"No, my girls didn't really pick up metalbending all that well if you ask me."

"That's been my problem this entire time! I gotta get it out, you can get it out for me right?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Korra's heart was pounding. She could get better. This was it, this _had_ to be the reason she couldn't get back to normal.

She could go back after this.

Right?

.

"Ok, if you want me to bend out this metal, you need to relax."

Korra stiffened on the cot she was laying on. "I _am_ relaxed."

"Seriously? Your body is like a twisted tree trunk!"

Korra opened her eyes and thrust her head up in frustration. "Just do it, I'm ready!" She threw her head back down and closed her eyes

Multiple cracks sounded through the small room. _Gross . . . _she thought. The cracking stopped, and suddenly she felt something move within her muscles a-_PAIN_.

Korra sat up in shock. _Fuck_ that hurt.

"It wouldn't hurt if you'd just relax, stop fighting me!"

"I'm not fighting!" Korra shot back. _It just fucking hurt._ Korra throws herself back down.

She feels the metal move through her again. It felt like needles slicing her apart bit by bit.

Just like . . . _air swirls around her head. Except it's not just air. It's her own breath, and it's killing her._

Korra curls into a fetal position.

"That's it, you're going to have to do this yourself. _Clearly_ you want to keep the metal in there."

Korra snaps around. "What do you mean? Why would I _want_ poison inside me."

"I don't know, maybe so you can have an excuse to not go back to being the Avatar. If you don't get better, you can't do your job, and you don't have to worry about getting hurt again." Every word Toph said seemed to stab into her very soul.

"Wha-that's ridiculous." Of course not. She's not looking for excuses. She _wants _to go back. She _wants _to be with her friends again.

. . . But does she want to be the Avatar again?

"Whatever. When you want it out, you can bend it out. I can't deal with all your issues for you." Toph started to walk away.

"Wait, what am I supposed to do now?" Korra asked. How is she supposed to get over this hump?

"How should I know? Ask the spirit that brought you here. The good news is, if you're looking for a place to hang where no one will bother you, you picked the best swamp in the world."

Korra looked down dejectedly.

She was alone again.

. . .

She has been in the swamp for three days now and still hasn't made any progress. Not only that, but there's nothing to do now. Toph has given up on getting the metal out of her, leaving it for Korra to do herself.

She was honestly thankful for that now. This is something Korra wanted to get through on her own, and Toph was letting her do that.

But _spirits_ she is bored. Especially since Toph's story telling skills prove to be lackluster. What kind of old codger can't tell stories?

So, here Korra is, looking for mushrooms like an idiot.

She brushes away some vines hanging in front of her that were previously blocking her past and his shocked still by the sight in front of her.

She sees herself, on her knees. Amon looms over her, his thumb on her forehead. She sees herself fall to the ground, powerless, without any bending.

In horror, Korra whips around and is met with an even worse sight. Unalaq's eyes glow with a red light, his head thrown back mirroring Korra's prone body. The black spirit of Vatu spills out of his mouth and rips Raava out of Korra, emptying her of all light. Her body falls to the ground yet again.

Korra falls back on her bottom, scooting away, and her surroundings change once again.

She is behind Zaheer and other Red Lotus members. All of them stare at yet another version of Korra, chained up and helpless as metal rips through her body and forces her into the Avatar state. Zaheer turns back and glares at her.

Everything shifts and Korra blacks out for only a second. She opens her eyes and finds herself on her hands and knees in a shallow stream.

The surface of the water ripples with the drops of her tears.

.

"There you are!" Toph exclaimed while walking towards Korra on the root she was sitting on. "You got my dinner yet?"

"No." Heck no, not with what she just went through. "This swamp...it did crazy things to my mind. I-I had visions. Of all the times my enemies hurt me." A chill went up her spine with the mere mention of it.

"Yeah, I figured something like that might happen."

Korra looked at Toph in shock and indignation. "_What_? You _wanted_ me to see those visions?! You are one _twisted_ old lady, ya know that?" Korra curled back up and looked away. _Jerk_ she thought.

"Look, I know you want to get better, and so does the swamp. It can sense you're out of balance. It will teach you what you need to learn, _if _you're open to listening" _Smart jerk._

Korra sighs. "Ok swamp, I'm all ears."

Korra heard nothing except the croaking of squirrel frogs and the buzzing or insects. Toph began to speak again. "You said you saw your past enemies. Now why do you think that is?"

"I don't know." Korra shrugs. If she had it her way she would never see them again. But apparently she didn't have that choice. "Because they made me and a lot of people suffer," Korra says with false vindication.

"Sounds like you're carrying around your former enemies, the same way you're still carrying around that metal poison. You ever consider maybe you could learn something from them?"

This woman must have been crazy. What could Korra have learned? They're the bad guys, right? So everything they did logically must've been wrong. "Sounds like the swamp's messing with your mind too."

"My mind is just fine, thank you. Listen. What did Amon want? Equality for all. Unalaq? He brought back the spirits. And Zaheer believed in freedom." Damn it she was right. But that didn't make it ok, it couldn't have.

"I guess."

"The problem with was those guys were totally out of balance, and they took their idealogies too far."

_That's an understatement_ she thought. "Ok fine, but that doesn't explain why they keep haunting me."

"Because you need to face your fears. You can't expect to deal with future enemies if you're still fighting the old ones."

"Maybe you're right, but how am I supposed to move on?" She couldn't just forget all that she went through.

"Boy, you Avatars sure need a lot of hand holding. Come on." Toph stood up. "We're going to the Bayan Grove Tree."

.

"It's beautiful," Korra said in awe. The huge tree was majestic in size, standing stoically above the whole swamp. It seemed to reach eternally into the sky, branching out in every direction.

"The roots of the Banyan Grove Tree spread out for miles in every direction, connecting this whole swamp. Your problem is you've been disconnected for too long. Disconnected from the people who love you, and disconnected from yourself." Everyone flashed through her head. Her parents, Tenzin, the kids, Mako, Bolin, and Asami. Everyone that loves her. Everyone that she loves.

She misses them.

She wants to see them. She needs to.

Korra takes a few steps forward and kneels down on her knee. She reaches out and touches her palm to the root of three and closes her eyes.

Suddenly everything is clear.

She feels them.

The roots go all the way around the world. She feels two ball of light in the South Pole. She feels several somewhere in Republic City.

She feels one spirit, especially bright, that strikes her right in the heart with light.

She feels three especially close, and suddenly she can visualize the three right in the head. Korra sees them, the air kids! They're all standing in a triangle, bickering like they usually do. And they're _right there_.

Korra quickly lets go of the root in shock and happiness."I can't believe it! I saw Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo, they're here!"

"Good," Toph says with a touch of sarcasm. "Hopefully they're here to take you home."

The sound of a bison's groan can be heard in the distance that compels Korra to whip around. The kids wave at her eagerly seated atop a bison flying towards her.

"Korra!" the kids yell out, voices filled with pure joy.

Korra couldn't help but cry tears of joy. Her heart swelled with love for the kids she had come to see as the little sisters and brother she never had.

Spirits, she missed them.

. . .

Asami is walking through Korra Park, as routine, when suddenly a shock goes through her. Not a bad one, but a warm, bright, surprising shock. A vague blurry image of Korra kneeling on a root flashes through her head for a millisecond, barely able to be noticed by Asami's mind.

But she sees it.

She feels it.

She feels Korra.

If only for a second.

. . .

"Alright. I'm ready." Korra stood before Toph and the kids in the cave, ready to get rid of the metal in her body.

She understands now. She understands that running away was never the answer. She understands her fears, and she understands her enemies.

She understands that she needs to be the Avatar right now. The world's is in danger again, and danger's name is Kuvira.

"I'm not bending it out of you." Toph says. "You've gotta do this on your own." Korra knows she can. Toph believes in her. The kids believe in her. She believes in herself.

"Close your eyes." Toph advises. "Clear your mind." Korra breathes in deeply. "And don't freak out like last time." Korra looks at the master with fond irritance. "Now, focus your energy. Find the metal. Let it move through your body."

Korra breathes and settles into a horse stance. She pulls her arms back fluidly and searches for the metal. She finds it, grips onto it with her bending, and pushes her arms forward. The metal stings but it's moving.

_She can't breathe. Zaheer glares at her. She can't control herself._ Korra hesitates. No, she's stronger,

"That fight is over. Release the fear." It's in the past. She can't change that. But she's stronger now.

Korra moves her arms forward a second time, the metal collects and seeps through the surface of her skin. She pulls back and moves forward again, moving the metal off of her and collecting in a ball in a mid-air. _You can do this_.

She searches for the remaing last traces of metal. Already she feels lighter with what she's gotten rid of. The second time is easier, and every last bit is bent out of her body.

Toph bends a rock around the deadly metal and seals it away, forever. "Well done, Korra."

Korra stands up. Her muscles move freely. She stands up straighter, taller, lighter. Her eyes glowed. Raava had returned to her. "I feel so much lighter now. Thank you so much for helping me. I'd...like to give you a hug now if that's okay with you." Who knows how long it would have taken Korra to stop being an idiot if it weren't for Toph?

"Alright, you earned it."

Korra eagerly scoops Toph up into her arms.

.

"We need to get to Zao Fu," Korra tells Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo after the swamp disappears into a speck in the distance.

She wanted to go back to Republic City, actually wanted to this time. She couldn't wait to see Asami again. . . and everyone else of course. But she couldn't get Asami out of her head. She still felt guilty for being gone so long, and she was ready to go back now. But Korra knows that Zao Fu is where she is needed.

She's the Avatar.

It was time to act like it.

. . .

The beautiful day is a small comfort to Asami's current mood. The sun shines and makes Korra's statue glisten.

Asami stares blankly at it, and for once she's not thinking of Korra.

Her visit to her father's prison keeps replaying in her mind, over and over again. Her heart broke at how awful he looked. Four years in prison had aged him beyond belief. Asami couldn't find a trace of the jolly cheeks her father used to have. He looked so . . . broken.

But he betrayed her. He hurt her. _He manipulated her and tried to kill her_.

But he was sorry. Or was he. Asami didn't know

She didn't know what to think.

She wishes Korra was here. But she hasn't been here for three years, Asami thought bitterly. She left, she disappeared. She's been disconnected from Korra almost as long as she's been disconnected from her father.

She's spent the past three years just missing people.

Asami looks off to the side and sees a little girl playing Pai Sho with her father, and her heart aches at the sight. The girl wins, the father let her of course, because he was the little girls father.

Pai Sho was Asami's favorite game, and it wasn't because she was so good at it.

Pai Sho was what she and Hiroshi played every day after her mom died when they hurt too much to talk about it. Hiroshi was never good at talking, as young Asami quickly learned. He was good at cold clinical strategy, at showing affection through the effort put into his game strategies. Her father was a man of action, not words, and Asami knew that.

Asami remembers trying to teach Korra Pai Sho when her attempts to get the Avatar to talk failed. After all, Korra was always a woman of action, and in her crippled state, she was able to do very little of that. Every evening they would sit in Korra's room and lay the board on the bed. Korra's nose would crinkle just a bit whenever she was stumped by Asami's superior strategy. The Avatar thrust herself into a lot of corners with her brash assault-only strategy. Asami remembers that a hint of Korra's confident smirk would show, if for only a moment, when Asami let her win a match (but of course Asami would never let the egotistical idiot know that).

Asami liked to think that it helped Korra to heal, just a bit.

She looked back up at Korra's statue.

Maybe she could have one less person to miss.

She could forgive both of them for leaving her alone.

And it would start with Hiroshi.

. . .

Kuvira stared Korra down from the opposite end of the field. The metalbender stood without a hair on her face while Korra lay on the ground, body aching.

She thought she was done taking her typical path. It wasn't the best way to handle things, the way she rushed headlong into battle. It usually turned out just like this. But she was supposed to be better now.

Korra knew she was rusty, but she wasn't expecting it to be this bad.

"You have to go into the Avatar State!" Su called out desperately. "Do it!"

Kuvira ran towards the Avatar's prone body and jumped up into the air, ready to deal a deadly strike.

Korra snapped out of her haze, calling on Raava's light to give her power. The Avatar thrust a powerful gust of air to push Kuvira back. The metalbender flew back and tumbled, but landed on her feet.

The Avatar attacked a second time, this blast more powerful the last. Kuvira rolled even farther. Her hair became disheveled and out of place. Now the Great Uniter was the one without control.

A powerful gust lifted the Avatar majestically up into the air, sheer power flowing through her veins. A large chunk of Earth was lifted behind her and up over her head. She held it for a moment, just about to strike as Kuvira began to get back up onto her hands and knees.

But then the metalbender looked up. The Phantom stared back, and suddenly the Avatar was just Korra again.

She fell down, down, down to the ground without enough control over the air that had previously held her high. She didn't understand. She got the poison out. What was wrong with her?

"I know you were weak." Kuvira shot out metal bands that wrapped around Korra's wrists and lifted her damaged body up into the air. With a smirk, the metalbender slammed her to the ground, knocking the air out of her lungs. The earth around her bent into a cage that engulfed her entire body.

Korra fell unconscious.

She awoke again briefly, barely registering her surroundings. High winds blew around her. The earth around her felt heavy. She bent it off and stumbled out into the storm, only to stumble over. She vaguely registered the sounds of fighting around her.

"You can't handle all this Meelo!"

Korra blacked out once more.

.

When she awoke, for real this time, she opened her eyes to clear open sky.

Zao Fu was done for.

She had failed . . . again . . . no.

Korra sat up quickly, only met with an unpleasant head rush as punishment. She let out a groan of frustration and pain.

"You okay, Korra?" Jinora asked.

Korra turned to the younger girl. "No . . ." Jinora frowned. "Where are we going?" she asked.

Jinora let out a small smile. "Home."

Despite her recent failure, Korra was excited.

"Home." She repeated to herself. She surprised herself. Since when had Republic City become her home? Asami's face flashed through Korra's mind. That was when.

She was finally ready to come back.

. . .


	3. Reunions and Realizations

Asami sat on the luxurious couch with Grandma Yin, exchanging stories about their favorite firebender detective, after she checked out the mansion to make sure everything was in order.

"Thank you so much for letting us stay here," the old woman said with a smile.

Asami smiled back. "It's no problem, really. I haven't lived here in years. It's not like I need it now that I have my new apartment.

The elder woman let out a raspy chuckle. "Oh it's such a shame Mako messed up so badly with you and the Avatar. Such wonderful girls." Asami stayed silent in surprise that the woman was talking about her grandson in such a way. "He's practically pushed you two into each others arms, ahohoho."

The old woman stood up and walked away, chuckling and muttering to herself. "Such wonderful girls. Just like his grandfather, ahoho." She disappeared around the corner.

Asami stayed frozen in her seat. Did she really just . . .

Before she had time to contemplate what had just happened, a knock sounded at the door.

In a daze she walked over to open up to reveal Mako's excited face, an unusual sight for most. "I just got news from Beifong. Korra's back! For real this time." Mako's grin settled into a smile.

The news shocked Asami out of her daze; her heart felt like it was doing jumping jacks. She's back? For real this time? "Really . . ." Asami said quietly. Then with more confidence, a wide smile burst onto her face. "She's back?"

Mako let out a chuckle. "Yep, she's on Air Temple Island right now. I was thinking we could give her a call, you know, have some lunch. Catch up." Mako let out a soft smile. "Just like old times."

"Like old times . . ." Asami nodded. Funny. Being with Korra now constituted as old times. Spirits, they've been apart for so long. What would Asami say? What would Korra say? Would everything really be like 'old times'? Asami's heart did backflips just thinking about it.

But if Korra was back, then Asami wants to see her as soon as possible. Alone. "Of course. I'll give her a call. Do me a favor and grab us a table at Kwong's. Don't worry about getting Korra, I'll make sure she's there."

Mako's eyebrows crunched together in clear confusion. "Yeah . . . yeah sure. You got it." Mako saluted to Asami, the same expression still on his face, and turned to march away. She couldn't help but laugh internally as she remembered Korra's imitation of the poor firebender's salute during her first driving lesson.

Asami couldn't wait to see her.

. . .

Korra mentally kicked herself. "Asami left a message for you, you were napping when she called and we didn't want to disturb you. She wants to meet you at Kwong's. I told her I'd make sure you'd be there" Tenzin had said just moments before (with a mysterious knowing smile that Korra couldn't quite comprehend, but that was besides the point). How could she have missed that call? Her first day back and she was already falling back into old habits.

But, spirits, she was about to see Asami again. She doesn't know why, but the thought sent butterflies through her gut. After all this time, through all these years, she still hadn't shaken the feelings for Asami; the strange feelings that had been part of the reason she had left in the first place.

Not unpleasant feelings, but certainly confusing. They were something she couldn't handle, not with everything else that had just happened, what with almost dying and being a horrifyingly useless Avatar.

But now she was back. Now she was okay. She was strong again. Not only that but smarter, wiser. She was ready to be back. She was ready to be the Avatar. And she was ready to see Asami again. She was ready to find out whatever the hell this was.

And damn she was excited. So excited to show Asami that she had finally recovered. The last time she had seen the older girl, she had been helpless in a wheelchair. They could be back to normal now, or as close to normal as events would allow. But Korra would not let the Kuvira issue get in the way of this moment.

Korra haphazardly got dressed. She hopes she isn't late. Rather than take the scenic route, she decides to jump out her bedroom window and into the water surrounding the island.

She manipulates the currents to carry her over to the affluent district of Republic City. She's come to know this city like the back of her hand, and still does even after all these years.

It was good to be back.

.

Korra stood nervously just outside the waiting room of Kwong's Cuisine. Deep breaths. In. Out.

Looking down, Korra realized with a start that she hadn't even dried herself yet. Idiot. She hastily bent the water off her clothes and skin.

"Okay Korra. Try again." Deep breaths. She was ready. She was back. She was Korra again. She could be with Asami again. She was about to have lunch with Asami and see her after three years of being away.

Why was she nervous, anyway. It was just lunch, right?

Korra closed her eyes and reflected on all that she had been through. Just three years, she couldn't even move her legs. Couldn't even talk to her friends and family. The only time she had smiled was when she won a match at Pai Sho. She knew Asami let her win, but the fact that Asami cared enough . . . well Korra didn't know why but it made her smile.

And now she was here. Stronger now, smarter, she understood so much more now.

Well, except whatever this was with Asami.

Korra opened her eyes back up. She was ready.

She turned around the corner.

Heavy drumbeats went off in her chest, her heart constricting painfully (yet wonderfully), at the sight of Asami sitting calmly with her face in a magazine.

Immediately, Korra's eyes softened, an equally soft smile spreading across her lips in her daze.

There Asami was. Waiting for her.

Korea wonders exactly how long she has been waiting.

. . .

Asami sat, staring blankly at the pages of Women's Engineering Weekly, hoping to distract herself in order to keep her sanity in the wait for Korra.

It didn't work of course. Asami smiled. But at least it wasn't like she had to. She doesn't need to distract herself anymore. For three years she's done all she could to keep her mind off of Korra and those . . . whatever thoughts they were in her rare idle moments.

But Korra was back now. She let out a breathy chuckle. The Avatar had a funny definition of 'a few weeks.' She would be here any moment, and everything would-

"I . . . hope you haven't been waiting long." A hopeful voice breaks through Asami's thoughts and her heart stops. She slowly puts her magazine down and looks up at . . . Korra. Her breath catches.

Korra. She's here. Standing. Strong. There is no more look of sadness in those blue eyes that broke her heart so thoroughly three years ago. Asami smiles gently. She's actually here. She looks different, but it's still the same Korra, and she's here.

She launches herself up from the seat and briskly walks towards Korra. "Only three years." She thinks her eyes tear up a little at the mention of just how long it's been. She knows she must look distraught.

But there Korra is, standing calmly with a steady smile, blue eyes wide with hope and happiness with her arms readily open to accept Asami into her arms, as if she's been waiting for Asami all this time. After all, Asami had been waiting for Korra just as long.

Korra can hardly believe that she's actually standing here, in Republic City. Asami rushes towards her and she can't help but smile and look into those green eyes that show every ounce of emotion that he older girl is feeling. She stands and waits patiently. It's not like she could've have moved anyways, not with the way Asamiis here coming towards her and spirits she can smell the nostalgic mix of flowers and machine oil from the other side of the room.

Asami falls gracefully into an embrace with Korra because Korra's here and she's in her arms. The goof hasn't even grown an inch (but Asami can't help notice some other growths pushing up against her chest). Her arms fit perfectly around the shorter woman's shoulders. She feels Korra's hands playing with her ponytail as they embrace (she should do that more often).

The engineer takes a step back, leaving their arms interwoven (she can't bear to let go yet), and looks Korra up and down. She looks good.

"It's so good to see you." Asami can't even say any thoughts but the most basic right now because Korra is here. And it was so good to be with her again after all these years.

Korra takes in the sight of Asami before her. She's keenly aware of the feeling of Asami's hands on lingering on her forearms (she already misses the feeling of Asami pressed against her). She's still taller than me, damn it she thought bitterly, but the thought was overshadowed. She's more beautiful than I remember. The taller girl's eyes were still filled with the same supportive warmth that they were filled with three years ago.

Korra gives her a sweet smile. To Asami, the younger girl seems just as dumbstruck. The thought makes Asami's heart beat just a tad faster. "You too." Asami can't stop looking at Korra, at that innocent little sincere smile on her face, the way it reaches up to those blue eyes that engulf her like the ocean. Her muscles seem more defined, the new clothes flatter her biceps in the best way possible. And, that hair. Korra just looked so Korra-like. "And I'm loving the hair."

All of a sudden, Korra seemed to get shy, bashfully reaching up to clutch a lock of her hair. Asami couldn't look away, content to look at the always adorable features of Korra's face. "Thanks . . . you look," Korra's eyes seemed to graze up and down Asami's body. Were Asami's eyes deceiving her or was that a blush?

Korra fought (and failed) to contain the blush that she knew was prominent on her cheeks as she searched for a compliment to return that was worthy of Asami.. . But how could she say what she was thinking? Asamiyoulookgreatwellamazingreally There'ssomuchIcouldcompliment on Idon'tknowwhatto choose IjustIdon'tknowwhatI'mfeeling IkeepthinkingaboutyoubutIdon'tknowwhy? ". . . snazzy as always." Korra mentally kicked herself.

Asami couldn't help but laugh in her head. She had missed her friend so much. The Avatar: master of all four elements plus the art of giving adorably awkward compliments.

"C'mon," Asami says, brushing Korra's hand, "Mako got us a table at the restaurant."

Asami allowed herself a faint blush as she walked in front of Korra.

She thinks I'm 'snazzy'.

Okay, maybe 'faint' blush was an understatement.

. . .

Mako stares off into space and leans against the column beside the table he just arranged for. His brows were still twisted in thought; the same positition they have been in since he had left the Sato mansion.

Was he just overthinking this or . . . was Asami a little _too _eager to see the Avatar? Even more so than Mako, which was odd considering that _he_ was the one who had a closer history with Korra? Right?

His eyebrows scrunched even tighter (he would have a headache soon if he kept this up).

But now that he thought about it . . . the girls had become much closer in the few months before Korra's three year hiatus. At that time, he thought it was in mutual dislike of him . . . but now Mako knew better. He knew that was just his younger self attempting to boost his ego. The girls were definitely too strong and too smart to be that petty.

So why were they so close?

What was going on with those two?

Mako understands that Asami must have missed Korra; they all have. But to almost _demand_ to see Korra first?

Mako was no fool; his eyes were trained to read between the lines in his years as a detective. He saw right through Asami's attempt to brush him off to "get the table": something Mako knew very well that Asami could get, no problem, with her connections to the establishment.

Maybe Asami has feel- no. No that was preprosterous.

Right?

Mako's train of thought stops when he sees two women approaching him. The sight of Korra wipes away any previous speculation. He missed her, after all these years. Despite the past . . . he still cares about her. One way or another.

And was he going crazy or was Asami blushing?

. . .

Korra swears, she is about to through this punk of a 'prince' out the window. She's known for litarally like two minutes and he has already crossed every possible line that can be crossed.

He wants to see her eyes glow? He's about to see her fist in this face.

Asami notices the rage and discomfort in Korra's eyes at Wu's inappropriate comment. She knows how much the Avatar state problem has been bothering her, especially since it compelled Korra to finally right back after two years of no contact.

The thought still stings.

But that difficulty had been a year ago. Korra still hadn't updated her on it. That thought stings even more, but Asami, once again, has to let it go. For Korra's sake.

"So, can you go into the Avatar State again? I was worried when you told me you couldn't." Asami's eyebrows press together concernedly, her lower lip protruding ever so slightly into a pout.

Korra's gut crunches. Here was Asami, still concerned for Korra and her well-being, remembering something Korra vented about a _year_ ago. She was just so-

"W-wait. When did she tell you she couldn't?" Mako's sudden question breaks through Korra's appreciation for Asami.

Oh shit.

Korra and Asami stare wide eyed at Mako. They had almost forgotten that he was there at all. The girls look to each other in guilt at the sentiment. Mako was clearly hurt, and for good reason.

Asami guiltily stared at her glass. Korra had asked her to keep it a secret and she so foolishly let it slip . . .

Korra on the hand, was simply stunned. She had completely forgotten about Mako, and how he didn't know. The thought just hadn't crossed her mind. Her eyes stay wide eyed as she looks off into the distance. Crapcrapcrapcrap.

"What's going on with you?" The firebender was so tired of being out of the loop. It was just like three years ago when the girls seemed to have some unspoken secret language between them, and frankly, he just didn't quite get why it was like that.

"What's going on with you too?" Mako voiced his indignation.

"I wrote to Asami while I was away. I asked her not tell you . . . I'm sorry." Asami winced. Oops.

"Well why didn't you ever write to me? Or Bolin?" He just didn't get why she only wrote to Asami. Didn't Korra trust them too? Did she think they wouldn't understand?

"I don't know . . . I guess I didn't know what to say." Korra couldn't think of any better excuse. She didn't understand herself, honestly. Asami just seemed to be the first option, and the only option. She seemed like the only one she could completely open up to. She was in such a bad place that she relied on instinct. As for why her instinct chose Asami . . . well, Korra wasn't sure.

" 'Hello' would have been nice." Would that really be so hard? To just send a simple letter? To have acknowledged their existence?

"Mako, if it makes you feel better, she didn't write me either." The three members of Team Avatar looked to Wu in irritation, but with slight relief (on Korra's part at least).

"Why would she-" Mako gave up in the middle of his sentence. He was too miffed to being yet another bothersome conflict. "Nevermind."

The stirrings of a horrible awkward silence became evident to Korra. The Avatar searched for a way to prevent it. "I'm sorry I didn't stay in touch, but I'm back now. And I want to know everything that's been going on with you two."

Noticing her friend's attempt to end the awkward situation, Asami took the opportunity to speak up. "Well I kinda have some big news. I went to visit my father for the first time. He'd been writing me letters, and I guess I've finally felt ready to forgive him." That had only been last week, and had been bothering Asami for a while now. She still wonders if she made the right decision. She hopes she did. _Besides, it's not like she had anyone to help her,_ she thought, with a bad taste in her mouth.

Korra furrows her brows in concern. Hiroshi? Secret mastermind of the Equalizes that _tried to kill Asami_? And Asami wanted to forgive him? No way could that be a good idea. Korra knows she's been gone for a while, but surely Asami couldn't be that foolish. "You sure you can trust him? He might just be manipulating you again."

Something in Asami snaps. No. Korra doesn't get to make that judgement, not when she's been gone for _three years_ and just got back. What does she know.

"You think I don't know what my own father is capable of?"

"No, no I didn't mean-" Korra begins to panic. She sees the look of hurt in those beautiful green eyes that only a few moments ago had been full of hope and (maybe) love (what kind?) She knows she must have struck a nerve.

"You don't get to disappear for three years then act like you know what's best for me." Korra wasn't there when Asami needed her. The younger girl has been so focused on being the Avatar for three years, completely ignoring Asami every time she has tried to reach to her, every time that Asami has said that she missed her. _But only now does Korra try to be a friend, and she wants to be unsupportive._ _How dare she? _Asami thinks.

A wave of guilt hits Korra square in the chest. No . . . she didn't mean to . . . had she really been that neglectful? Korra remembers leaving for her own sake. She remembers all the letters that Asami sent, spilling descriptive details of all the events and challenges she had been going through when redesigning Republic City. But she didn't mean to be gone that entire time. The past three years all felt like a blur now.

"It's not like I planned to be gone that long. I wanted to come back, but I never felt ready until now."

Heck, the entire past six months she had been trying to come back. . . right? . . . No . . . she hasn't been. Every excuse to not come back was built off of fear of what would happen when she finally did, of who she would hurt and what she would fail at doing. So far, she's hurt both Mako and Asami, and failed at being a good friend on top of failing at being the Avatar.

Angry hurt green orbs stare deeply into guilty blue ones. Wu slams an empty glass down, distracting the two women from their intense stare. "As much as I'm enjoying this little catch up, my royal bladder is about to explode." He gestures at Mako, still brooding angrily with arms crossed. "C'mon Mako, I need you stand guard."

"I'm not gonna go with you every time you need to empty your royal bladder," the firebender angrily gestures for the irritating prince to leave him alone. He doesn't need more triggers right now.

"Fine . . ." The young prince walks away.

"Do you . . . always go to the bathroom with him?" Korra welcomes the distraction as a break from the intensity with Asami (there she goes, running away from her feelings again).

"I don't go 'with him' with him, I just stand in the general vicinity while he-" Mako groans and turns even further away from Korra. "I don't wanna talk about it."

The silence seems to stretch forever. Mako continues to stare off, away from the young women beside him. Seriously, what was up with them? This whole time they've basically ignored Mako. And even when Asami felt the pain of Korra's abandonment, Korra _still_ paid more attention to the CEO than she did with him. With him she just brushed off the entire issue. Wasn't Mako her friend too? There was definitely something different about those two, something that wasn't there when Korra left three years ago.

Asami stares at her drink, her jaw taut and eyes on the verge of glistening with tears. Part of her felt guilty for snapping at Korra, and was thankful that the Water Tribe girl tried to be understanding. But how could the Avatar be so wise yet so _dense_ at the same time? Didn't Korra realize that she . . . that she what? Why did Asami feel this way? Forget that, what does 'this way' even mean? Asami almost never loses temper, and certainly not ever with Korra. The engineer was happy to have her best friend back, of course she was, but she just couldn't shake that feeling of abandonment. She's been trying so much to hang on but the swirl of emotions that came with her reunion with Korra put everything all out of whack. The past three years have been spent trying to distract herself from emotions. Now, Asami wasn't sure what to do with them.

Korra cannot shake the guilt racking through her. She has been so encompassed in her own hurt that she's forgotten about the feelings of the people that mean the most to her. But how is she supposed to balance everything out? She couldn't even balance herself, not with the way that she failed in the battle with Kuvi- no. She doesn't want to think about that right now.

The clank of food as it is placed on the table snaps the three young adults out of their respective thoughts. An establishment like this usually takes ages to prepare food. Had the silence really stretched out that long?

Mako squints in thought. "I wonder what's taking Wu so long. He's not one to miss lunch. I'll go check on him."

.

As Mako checks in the men's restroom for Wu, Asami and Korra stand outside under the weight of the tense silence. What's there to say? Neither knows, nor wants to try. They haven't been this tense with each other since...well, since Mako. Thank the spirits that the teenage love triangle was over.

Korra looks to distract herself from the unpleasant memories of her immature, hormonal youth. A server wheels a mysterious laundry cart in an adjacent path. Strange. What kind of restaurant had laundry carts? Her Avatar senses were tingling.

"I'll be right back," she says absentmindedly to Asami.

"Try not to take three years this time," Asami mumbles under her breath after Korra had rounded the corner. She silently chastises herself. That wasn't fair.

Or was it? Asami couldn't just pretend that everything would return back to normal. Korra had been gone for longer than Asami had known her beforehand. Something was different now. Not an unpleasant different. But . . . different. There's a palpable shift in _something_ between them that Asami just couldn't quite put her finger on. Was it-

_CRASH_

Asami's heart stops at the noise she hears at the end of the hall, right around the corner where Korra had just- no. Oh, spirits _please no_. Something couldn't have happened to Korra already, not when Asami had just gotten her back.

She bursts off running down the hall, fast as she can. She hears Mako a few paces behind her, right on her heels.

The light from outside filters through the hallway as Asami rushes through it with a devastated look that gradually shifts to relief when she sees what had happened. Korra is on all fours staring angrily at a truck speeding off, the spirit in those blue eyes proving that the Avatar was okay.

"They've got Wu!" Korra yells. "Get the car, I'm going after him," she commands. Asami runs off without a second thought, following Korra's directions. Korra knew what to do, she could be trusted, and she needed Asami's help (which Asami was always willing to give). Mako follows her to the parking lot where the new P0L4RB3AR-D06 Satomobile was parked.

Stirrings of glee rose through Asami as she hopped into the driver seat. She'd been waiting to test this baby out. She'd taken special care in designing this one over the past year, ever since she got the letter from Korra actually. It was all top of the line, from the engine, to maneuverability; everything needed for daily life and maybe, just maybe, a Team Avatar car chase (not that she was wishing for one to happen, of course not). She especially loved the color: southern ocean blue. She told herself that it was because she'd gotten tired of the old red and black. That was the small part of her that pretended that it didn't remind her of Korra's eyes.

"Buckle up," she says with a smirk to Mako, "this baby flies." Asami can't deny the accomplishment she feels at the look of fear in Mako's wide saffron eyes.

She slams her foot on the accelerator and zooms into the street, masterfully avoiding traffic, while following the sounds of the earth tremors that signified where Korra was no doubt fighting.

She zooms even faster (it feels amazing) until she can make out Korra's profile on the side of the road. She smoothly glides into a spot. "Get in!"

Korra hops into the backseat, nodding to Asami as a signal to chase down the white van speeding away from them. Green eyes narrow into focus. No way would they beat Asami at her own game. She slams the accelerator once again, relishing in the feel (how long has it been since she's done something _exciting_) and chases the van down the streets of downtown Republic City.

She's bobs and weaves through the other cars, mere obstacles in her path. The van whips a tight turn into an alley and an earth bender erects a massive wall between them and Team Avatar. _Crap_ Asami thinks as she drifts the car away from the wall and back into oncoming traffic.

In the rearview mirror, she sees Korra look back in devastation. "We're losing them!"

No problem, Asami thinks. The alley that the Kuvira supporters turned into leads to one place and one place only; a one way road beneath an overpass just two blocks away. It'd be the perfect vantage point for an airbender to perform an assault from above. She looks into her rearview mirror into Korra's eyes. _Trust me_ she pleads silently. Korra nods, as if reading her mind.

"Turn right at the next block, we can cut them off on 7th," Mako suggests. But Asami already has a plan. She zooms past the turn. That turn would have led them to the same path, still behind the Kuvira supporters' van.

"You missed the turn, where are you going?!" Mako yells patronizingly. Asami rolls her eyes.

"I know these streets better than you! I built some of them." Hello Mako, I'm Asami, civil engineer of Republic City.

She continues on one more block and zooms up a ramp to the bridge. Once again her eyes shift to the rear view mirror to make eye contact with Korra, and gives a small nod.

Korra looks down and sees the white van directly beneath them to the side. She stands up, waiting for the perfect moment to leap down onto it.

"What are you doing?! Sit down!" Mako yells again. Completely ignoring the agitated firebender, Korra twirls gracefully into an air cyclone that swiftly carries her down to the van. Asami smirks. Perfect timing.

"Oh," she hears Mako mumble meekly beside her. She allows herself a laugh.

She missed this.

.

Korra places her palm on the floor of the train station, willing her senses to lead her to the right place. And, surprisingly, it was easier to call upon her sense with Asami standing so close to her. She can feel the balls of energy around the station, almost like the ones she felt at the Banyan Grove Tree, if a bit dimmer. And with Asami next to her, it was almost like it heightened her spiritual awareness of everything.

Korra looks up suddenly at a train with doors in the process of closing.

"He's on that train," she calls out urgently, taking off after the closest car. She swiftly jumps on board. She still feels the lingering senses of spirit energy in her mind. _Asami_. Without even thinking, she places her hand on the door for balance and holds her hand out for Asami to grab.

She feels Asami take the Korra's hand into her own softer ones. She easily pulls the older girl onto the platform and they enter the train with Mako trailing behind.

.

"How do you know for sure he's here?" Asami hears Mako ask Korra behind her in a passive aggressive tone.

"I don't, I just had a feeling, okay?" Korra defends.

"And I'm supposed to just trust your Avatar feelings?" Asami squinted, glad that Mako couldn't see the look on her face. Why shouldn't he trust Korra? She's the Avatar, of course he should. Asami trusted her. Why didn't he?

"You wouldn't have to if you had just guarded the prince like you were supposed to." Asami opened the door to the storage room at the back of the train car.

"Oh, so it's my fault that Wu disappeared." Ah. He's just venting. But Korra definitely wasn't the right person to misplace frustrations onto.

"Well, it's definitely not mine!" Asami shook her head. Mako and Korra arguing. How's that for 'old times'.

She hears a dull thudding beneath the sounds of Mako and Korra's bickering. "Guys, shh. Listen."

The three of them turn to look at a shaking trunk. As Mako goes to open it, Asami and Korra keep a vigilant eye, sure that Kuvira's men must be around somewhere.

Suddenly, the door that they just entered through bursts open. Before the supporters have a chance to begin attacking, Korra springs into a defensive stance. Asami stands and stares transfixedly at the muscles of Korra's back as she gracefully deflects the shards of metal shooting towards them. Korra's skill and grace still hasn't ceased to amaze Asami, even after three years.

Her heart clenches a bit at the fact that Korra is so willing to defend her friends without a second thought. _She hasn't abandoned you_ her mind whispers. _She's still Korra_.

Suddenly, Korra turns around, and for a split second Asami fears that she's been caught staring. But her battle instincts overtake her, and fall back into sync with the Avatar. _Behind you_ the other girl's eyes seem to say.

Asami whips around to see Kuvira's supporters coming towards them. Any minute now they'll be surrounded. How are they going to get out of this one?

Korra shifts into a stronger stance and rips the ceiling open.

_Of course_. Asami smirks. Leave it to Korra to find the perfect unconventional way out of a sticky situation.

.

The wind whips through Asami's hair as they zoom over the bridge of the train tracks over the canyon. Kuvira's men approach them from both sides of the car, trapping them just as they had only a few moments before. The roof bends upwards towards the four of them in attempt to trap them.

For a brief second, Asami feared they would be caught, but the fear was quickly brushed aside. They'd get out of this. Korra was back.

She turns around to see the shorter girl already setting into a bending stance, and air stance from the looks of it. Asami looks down. It's just like on the bridge during the car chase: an air technique would be the best way out.

She trusts Korra completely. Of course they'd get out of this.

.

Korra concentrates on building a ball of air around them, concentrating first on herself and Asami, who has already moved towards her, as if predicting what Korra planned to do. Well she predicted right. If she wasn't so pumped on adrenaline right now, she might have faltered at the feel of Asami's hand around her shoulders.

The sphere steadily gets larger, enough to where it encircles all four adults. "Jump!" she yells, and instinctively wraps her arm around Asami's waist to steady her while grabbing Wu by the collar and throwing Mako over her shoulder.

She puts all her concentration on maintaining the spinning air around them, but it slams into the side of the tracks, effectively weakening it.

Thankfully it stays intact, but she feels it spin, along with the four of them, out of control.

With a thud, they fall the last two feet with enough cushion to save them the brunt of the impact.

Despite the pain, Korra couldn't help but grin. She looks up into green eyes that cut across the distance, laughter mirroring her own.

Looks like she wasn't the only one that missed this.

Korra stands to walk towards the other girl, but is effectively stopped by Prince Wu.

"I owe you my life Avatar Korra, if only there was some way to repay you. Ooo, I know, how 'bout I take you out for a night on the town?"

"Really. You're asking me out right now?" she rhetorically asks, irritated at the interruption. All she wanted was to reunite with her friends, and _this_ little prick kept her from doing that this _entire day_.

"So . . . I'll put you down for a maybe?"

What? No. If it wasn't for this kid, she would be at Kwong's right now, enjoying a nice, pleasant lunch with Asami and Mako after not seeing them for _three years_. "How 'bout a never." The kid was lucky that Korra had fun. But she wouldn't admit that.

Asami watches as Korra brushes off the Earth prince, a small smile of fondness spreading at the water tribe woman's bluntness in rejecting the young man. She really did miss Korra, in all her brashness.

"Now, that wasn't exactly what I imagined for our first day back together." Korra feels her nerves from the previous chase calm down, settling into a relaxed state around her friends. She lets out a small smile that makes Asami's heart jump.

"But it was kinda like old times . . . except for the getting on each other's nerves part." Asami looked at Korra guiltily, sending a silent apology for snapping at Korra earlier. This whole fiasco proved that they were still just as in sync as before... maybe even a bit more. As much as things have changed, at the same time they hadn't at all.

"Actually, that is like old times for me and Korra," Mako chimes in. Yep. Haven't changed at all Korra thinks to herself as she smirks at the firebender.

"I'm . . . sorry things got so tense earlier." Korra knows that there were bound to some issues with her being gone for so long. And she knew it was her fault for letting it stretch on. But there was no point in dwelling in excuses, she just wanted to enjoy this moment.

Asami nods. Despite the brief moments of tension between the three in the past mini adventure, she had to admit, she had a blast. And . . . if she had learned anything in the past little adventure, it was that Korra was still Korra. They had also all grown in the past years, but nothing that couldn't be adapted to. "It's alright. I guess after being apart for three years, there's bound to be a bit of an adjustment period."

"Yeah, and it's great to have you back," Mako pipes up. Despite whatever weirdness was going on between the two girls beside him, he was glad to have his friend back.

Korra smiles, happy that all the tension had dissipated. She was just glad to be back, glad to be with the people that meant the most to her. "There's no place else I'd rather be." She leans into the hug offered by Asami and Mako, leaning her chin on Asami's shoulder and enjoying the feel of warmth coming from the two.

The spirit energy from earlier still lingered, very faintly, and the proximity made her own energy seem to soar. . . . and it also sensed Wu coming up behind her to join in.

She thrusts her hand out into the prince's face. _Not you_ she thinks, facial expression never changing from its content look.

. . .

Mako follows Prince Wu after he rushes into the Sato mansion to look for the bathroom, rolling his eyes at 'his royal highness.'

"I should probably make sure he doesn't get kidnapped again," Mako says to the girls with a smirk, and turns away.

"So, uh, what's it like? Living with Mako and his family?" Korra asks Asami as they remain on the porch. There's a slight twist in her gut for some reason. She's been gone for three years, and now Asami and Mako were living together. Korra didn't want to assume anything, but that kind of situation does imply some special intimacy. They weren't getting any younger. Maybe Asami and Mako . . . her gut twists even more at the thought. For what reason, she does not know. She didn't even have feelings for Mako anymore but . . .

"Oh I don't live here." Korra feels as if a great weight has been lifted of her chest. "I live in an apartment above my office in Future Industries HQ." Korea's relief is replaced with concern. Does Asami ever stop working?

"You shouldn't work so hard . . ." Korra says in a soft voice that makes Asami's heart ache.

She gives the shorter girl a smile that feels forced. "Oh it's not so bad. I need to be ready at a minutes notice with all the projects." She bites her lip. "Besides, it was the only way I could-" Asami stops short, afraid of what she was just about to say. _The only way I could stop missing you._ "That I could get all my work done."

That only seemed to make Korra looked even sadder. Asami's eyes darted around the area, looking for an excuse to get out of this situation. Her eyes fall on the blue Satomobile. She smirks. Perfect. "How bout we continue those driving lessons." Her smile turns more genuine. "I believe we had a few interruptions last time."

Korra's concerned look bursts into a grin. "If by 'interruptions' you mean a new Air Nation, vines, a terrorist group, and three years, then yeah. A few interruptions." Korra's grin turns into a sly, devious smirk. "I'm the Avatar, master of all four elements. I should know how to drive. Besides," Korra flips her hair, comically trying to imitate Asami and failing with her shorter locks. "It's relaxing," she says, mimicking Asami's words from all those years ago.

Asami laughs harder than she ever has in years.

. . .

That night finds Korra once again tossing and turning in her sleep.

_Kuvira stalks towards her menacingly. The face of the Great Uniter shifts into a white mask. "The world doesn't need you anymore" she whispers._

_She lifts her hand up bending air instead of metal. Korra feels herself suffocate. Toph's voice echoes in her head. "The world doesn't need the Avatar one bit."_

_Kuvira shifts into the form of Vaatu. "Everything you've accomplished has been pointless."_

_Vaatu zooms into Korra's own body, she feels herself suffocating, twisting, screaming. The dirt under her feet change into a mirror._

_She sees the phantom; hair loose, eyes glowing, hands wrapped in chains. The mirror image shifts without Korra moving, and breathes fire onto Korra._

_._

The morning sun inches over the horizon as Asami walks into the housing compound of Air Temple Island to see Korra before she heads off to work. _This isn't weird right? Normal friends do this, right?_

She rounds the corner when she hears Korra scream. Her heart stops as she rushes down the hall to open the door to Korra's room.

The sight breaks her heart. Korra sits up, her eyes wide and forehead clammy with fear. The scene is all to familiar to Asami, and she shifts back into habit and rushes to Korra's side to try and comfort her. "Korra," she says, her voicing dripping with concern. "Korra what's wrong?"

Korra looks up at her ashamedly. No. No she was supposed to be past this now. This was supposed to stop happening. Asami reaches around her to try and take her into her arms. Korea's heart breaks. NO. She wasn't supposed to do this anymore; she wasn't supposed to burden Asami again.

She pushes the older girl away with her hair hanging over her eyes, masking the pain in them. "Nothing," she says meekly, "I'm fine."

Asami freezes, unsure what to do. Did she overstep her boundaries? Korra pushes past her. "I'm just gonna go meditate." She gives a meek smile to the engineer, and walks out the room and away from Asami.

Asami sits there stunned. That had never happened before. Korra had never acted like she didn't need Asami . . . except that night. That night three years ago when Korra told her that she would be heading to the South Pole. Korra had pushed her away that night, and the next day, left for 'a few weeks'.

Asami hung her head down, sitting there for what felt like hours before she finally decided to head off to work.

.

For once, distractions don't work from Asami. She spends the entire day staring at blueprints or records attempting to find something to focus on, something to distract her from that morning and thinking about what it all meant. But nothing comes. The blueprint stays blank without alterations. Documents remain unsigned (she refuses to sign anything that she does not comprehend completely with every detail).

The only thing she can focus on is her worry for Korra, and for their friendship. But mostly that sad, sad look in Korra's eyes when she walked out the room.

Asami lets out a heavy sigh and swivels in her chair to look out the window. The sun has begun to lower from the horizon. _This is ridiculous_ she thinks.

Korra was her friend. And Asami would be there for the blue eyed idiot whether Korra liked it or not.

.

Korra isn't sure how long she's spent here, sitting on the ledge of the gazebo and staring off at the ocean.

Silently, she chastises herself for pushing Asami away that morning. . . and for leaving at all. The previous day just proved how much she had hurt her best friend. And through all of that, through all those years of separation and neglect on Korra's part, Asami was still there for her the moment she needed it.

Korra shook her head. Her reasons for leaving were completely twisted, she knew that now. But maybe destiny wanted it to happen. Now she was back after seeing the world, learning about herself, learning about balance. And if she hadn't left, she would have never met Toph and would have never learned how to get the poison out of her system.

She just couldn't get that nightmare out of her head, or Toph's voice echoing in the back of her mind. How was she supposed to maintain balance when there was a new problem every time she turned the corner?

Korra sighs and continues to look out across the bay.

. . .

Asami walks into the building on Air Temple Island and bumps into Pema. "Have you seen Korra?" she asks the woman.

Pema smiles sympathetically. "She's been in the gazebo all day, hasn't moved an inch."

Asami's heart clenches at the thought. Whatever dream Korra had must have been bothering her more than Asami thought it would have.

"Come look," Pema directs to Asami, and leads her to a window in the kitchen. She sees the blue fabric of Korra's clothing in the distance, unmoving as the Avatar faces out towards the water. Of course Korra would gravitate to the water.

Pema observes the concerned look on Asami's face. "You really care about her, don't you."

Asami blushes, feeling guilty at having been caught staring. _Why does she feel guilty?_

Pema shakes her head at the poor, oblivious young woman. _Children_ she thought. _Never understand what they're feeling unless you force it down their throats_. "Come sit with me, have some tea."

Asami looks back towards Korra. But she needed to-

"Korra can wait, sweetheart. We need to help _you_ first," she says.

Green eyes squint in confusion. "But-"

"Sit." Pema directs sternly. The motherly tone in her voice compels Asami to listen. "Tell me about you and Korra."

"What do you mean?"

Pema rolls her eyes. "Start from the beginning dear. How did you become friends."

Asami laughs. "Well . . . that's a good question."

"The first time I saw Korra was in the newspaper. It was feature on how the Avatar had just come to the city and ruined half a block while trying to get some Triple Threat thugs," Asami laughs lightly. "There was this picture of Korra, in mid-air, and she just had this look of complete confidence on her face. And I thought, wow, she is really something. I just admired her."

Pema nods. "And when you actually met her . . .?" she prompts.

Asami snickers. "Well . . . it wasn't exactly pleasant. When I first met Mako, he was sweet, and a gentleman. I was a smitten teenager. And, apparently Korra was too. When I met her at the gala, I could tell from the way she looked at Mako that there was _something_ going on there. And from the way he looked at her . . . well, I knew something was off." Asami smirks. "Let's just say that Korra never took too well to competition."

Pema shook her head and prompted Asami to continue. "But even then, I just couldn't bring myself to dislike Korra. She was just so strong, and confident, and I was determined to get the stubborn idiot to like me," Asami said fondly. She looks off into the distance and remembers the look of sheer joy on Korra's face the first time she took her for a spin on the test track. "And it was going pretty well."

Asami's face shifts into a frown. "My world was so . . . happy. But then . . . my father ruined it all. At first I wanted to _hate_ Korra when she accused him of being an Equalist. My father was all I had in the world." She closes her eyes and remembers the sight of Hiroshi in the secret warehouse, and the pain she felt when she had to take him down. "He betrayed me. And Korra . . . I wanted to blame her for making all of it happen, but I just couldn't." Asami smiled softly yet bitterly. "I had to find out the truth sometime, right?"

Asami grit her teeth. "I was angry, and hurt, and I wanted to stop my father and the whole Equalist movement that had torn my family apart. Korra made that happen. And I helped take my father down. For good." Asami looks off into the distance, remembering her recent visits to the prison. "But I think I can start to forgive now."

"What happened after that?" Pema asks.

Asami let out a bitter laugh. "I threw myself into work. I had a company to rebuild. I was still angry at everything, but I didn't know how to deal with it. So I took every escape I could get, business trips, being a part of Team Avatar . . . and then Varrick came in. He rebuilt my company then worked to tear it down, all to help spark the Water Tribe Civil War that Korra was trying so hard to shut down. I was lost and angry and hurt, and Mako had just broken up with Korra. He was there, and I just . . . " Asami looked to the side in guilt. "I don't know why I went after Mako again. Whatever feelings I had for him were long gone. He was just . . . there. And then Korra came back, with her memory wiped, and I just felt worse. I had to make it up to her somehow, after all the craziness was over."

"And how'd you do that?" Pema broke in.

"I've always admired Korra, but slowly throughout everything, I came to love her." Asami blushed at the implications of those words. "As a friend of course." Pema shot her an unconvinced look that Asami chose to ignore. "We became best friends," Asami continued defensively.

"After Harmonic Convergence, everything was different. And I hoped that my friendship with her would be too. We'd already gotten along before, but with Mako out of both of our lives after he threw himself into police work, I came to realize just how great and fun and amazing Korra really was. Something just changed between us, in a good way. All the lingering awkward feelings were out of the way and we just worked _well_ together. I got to know her, and she got to know me, and I've never met someone I could just be so comfortable with" Asami smiled fondly. She remembers teaching the Avatar how to drive, having sparring matches, going on adventure in the Earth Kingdom, instinctively pairing up. "We just grew up a little."

"Pretty soon we were doing everything together, and I didn't even notice how important her presence in my life had become until we all almost lost her to Zaheer." Asami looks down. Her heart still ached at the memory of Korra, goofy, confident, brash, strong, stubborn, lovable Korra, on the verge of death in her father's arms. She remembers how helpless she was to save her. If it wasn't for Suyin, she might have . . . Asami didn't even want to think about it.

"I wanted to do everything I could to help her. Korra was broken, all of could see it. She _needed_ someone to help her through it, and I wanted to be that someone. I just couldn't stand there and watch as she . . . " Asami stopped. She hated thinking about how _sad_ Korra was in the few weeks after the battle with Zaheer. "The Korra I had become so close to had retreated into a shell after that battle. And then she left . . . "

"Once Korra was gone, I wasn't sure what to do with time anymore. So these past three years I've just been doing all I can to help the city. What Korra would do." Asami smiled. "And now she's back . . . she's different now, I'm different now, but she's back, and she's still Korra."

Asami looked out the kitchen window at the gazebo where Korra still hadn't moved. "...And I'm still worried about her." She looks down. "But I'm scared that I'll just push her away again." She couldn't take that feeling of emptiness again. The feeling that overtook her entire life after Korra left.

Pema smiled sympathetically at the young woman from the kitchen counter where she was brewing tea. "Don't feel bad. Korra's just being the same old stubborn Korra. Knowing her, she probably feels bad that you go out of your way so much for her."_  
><em>

Asami started in shock. Asami was Korra's friend, it was her job to be there for her, and she would do it gladly. Korra should never feel guilty for that. "She should never-"

"But," Pema continues, "in times like these, Korra realizes that even the Avatar needs help sometimes. Here." Pema hands a steaming cup of tea to the young woman. "Go talk to her. She needs you."

"But what if she-"

"Oh," Pema waves her hand, "just say you thought she was cold or something if you're so worried about it looking weird. Or you could woman up and tell her how much you love her," Pema said with a smirk.

Asami blushes. "What do you mean, I don't-" she stops at the look Pema is giving her. Asami looks down. She knows exactly what Pema means. She's known exactly what all of this means for a long time now, ever since she and Korra started to become close. Korra was the one she would drop everything for if she needed to. Her time, her company; everything. Through all these years apart, Korra was the one she would think about, the one she wished she could be with, the one she missed the most. She was in love with Korra. She was in love with the confident, caring, loyal, strong, dense Avatar.

Pema starts again. "Just go talk to her," she pauses mysteriously, "or anything."

Asami blushes, and simply turns away to head to the gazebo.

.

She approaches the Korra nervously. From behind, the water tribe woman looks so stoic and calm. But Asami knows there's a storm raging in the Avatar's mind right now.

"I brought you some tea," Asami says gently, not wanting to startle Korra. "I thought you might be cold out here," she lies. While there was a light breeze, the light from the sun provided plenty of warmth. And with Korra's fire bending abilities and background in the South Pole, she knew the girl was perfectly fine, it was her inner turmoil about her Avatar duties that Asami was worried about.

Korra turns her head in surprise. She took in Asami's presence, slightly stunned that she had come back after she had so rudely pushed the CEO away that morning. She smiled. Of course Asami wouldn't be mad. Loyal, brave, patient Asami was always made her presence know when Korra needed it the most, and this was one of those moments.

"You're so sweet." She fully turns her body around and jumps off the ledge. "Thanks," she says, taking the tea cup from Asami's hands, their hands brushing slightly. Korra feels her heart in her throat and she turns away to lean back on the ledge. Her head turns to gaze back across the ocean, Toph's words still ringing in her mind.

Asami takes in Korra's body language. The younger woman was hiding something, had been hiding something every since that morning. This was more than the nightmares, it had to be.

"Are you ok? You seem out of sorts."

Korra looks down. She shouldn't hide this from Asami. She shouldn't hide these things from her at all. And if there was anyone she could confide in, Asami was the one. "Sorry," she apologizes, aware that she has been treating Asami strangely ever since that morning. "I've just been thinking about something Toph said." She turns to Asami to look into her eyes. "She told me that the world doesn't need me and it's basically pointless to try and stop Kuvira." And maybe _no one_ needed her. Did Asami need her?

"That's ridiculous," Asami said indignantly. No wonder Korra had been acting so strangely. The proud young woman had dedicated her _life_ to helping others, and now some cranky old woman was making the strong woman feel insecure?

Korra sees the slightly angered look in Asami's eyes and turns away. That was the same way she felt the first time Toph said it. "At the time I thought so too. I thought she was just being, her normal, cranky self. But I'm beginning to think she has a point." Everything was so messed up, and she could do nothing to change it.

Asami got even more riled up. "No, she doesn't. The world does need you." How could the world _not _have Korra in it? How could _Asami_ not have Korra in her life? "You're the Avatar." And she wasn't just the Avatar. She was _Korra_. Even if the world didn't always need her, Asami needed her.

"But no matter what I do, the world always seems to be out of balance!" Korra says, her voice hitching slightly. "Growing up, I couldn't wait to be the Avatar. I thought I was really gonna change things." It was all she ever thought about. And she thought it would be so easy, that she was unbeatable and all-powerful. "I was so naïve. But the first time I saw Amon take someone's bending away, I was terrified. . . then my worst nightmare came true." She still feels the helplessness and utter loss that she felt when she lost her bending.

Asami shook her head. The way Korra talked about it, it sounded like failure, but it _wasn't_. "Korra, you're forgetting all the good that happened after you exposed Amon for the fraud he was. The Equalist movement lost its leader and its power. Free elections were held in the United Republic, and nonbenders finally had a voice. " As a non bender, Asami was especially appreciative of that fact. "People had hope again and it was all because of _you_." Asami remembers how hopeless she felt after realizing her father's betrayal. But Korra showed her that the world could change for the better, that non benders could still have power and be represented as equally as the benders (even if President Raiko was an ass).

Korra nods, then looks off into the distance and shakes her head. "And I was hopeful too. But that feeling didn't last long. As soon as I defeated Amon, a new enemy took his place. Because of Unalaq, I betrayed Tenzin, opened the portals, and threw the human and spirit worlds into chaos." She slams her first into the ledge. "It was my fault he fused with Vatu and became a Dark Avatar. And I was helpless to stop him from destroying Raava and cutting off my connection with my past lives. With Raava gone, Unalaq and Vatu became more powerful than ever."

Asami furrows her eyebrows and leans it slightly. "But you became more powerful too. I mean . . . you turned into a giant spirit." Asami remembers seeing news clips of Korra's spirit taking down the force of darkness, how she realized just how powerful her friend really was.

"Yeah," Korra lets out a small smile at the epic memories. "That was pretty awesome."

Asami's heart clenches at Korra's smile. She pushed forward with her tangent "And opening the spirit portals turned out to be a good thing. You brought back the airbenders and caused a positive shift in the world." _And we became best friends_ Asami wanted to say. But this wasn't about them, it was about Korra.

"Yes, but Zaheer got airbending too and nearly killed me." Korra's tone turns more frantic. "If it weren't for Zaheer, the Earth Queen would still be alive, and there wouldn't be a crisis in the Earth Kingdom, and Kuvira wouldn't be in power. " Korra looked visibly upset, and Asami felt helpless to make her feel better. How do you brush aside reality? "Things are more out of balance than ever now. Nothing's changed!"

"You're right Korra." Tenzin's voice startles the two women.

"I am?" Korra says, stunned.

"She . . . is?" Asami replies, her voice dripping with doubt.

"It's true. There will always be new conflicts and enemies to face, but the important thing is to learn from your enemies and better yourself over time, which you have. You've changed so much since you first arrived on Air Temple Island. When you first came here, you were hot headed, and a little selfish," Asami smirked. "But you've matured into a thoughtful young woman who puts the needs of others before herself. The new Air Nation is testament to that. You sacrificed everything to save them. You're an inspiration to the world."

Korra looks up stunned, her mind racing. She had grown ever since she first snuck away from the White Lotus compound all those years ago, she knew that. But to hear Tenzin say it, and to hear Asami's support . . . Korra had no words for how it made her feel. "Thank you both . . . " Korra trails away to gather her thoughts. She was the Avatar. The world will always have battles that upset the balance. It was her job to bring balance back, whenever it was needed. Otherwise, the Avatar cycle wouldn't have lasted as long as it has, right? She could do this.

She turns to look at Tenzin and Asami. "I know this Kuvira problem is only going to get worse, but no matter what happens, no matter how _crazy_ things get, I'll always try to restore balance."

Asami watches as Korra turns back to look across the bay at the sunset in the distance, but this time, the previous forlorn look on the Avatars face has been replaced with one of hope.

Asami smiles, glad to see Korra happy again. She feels the confession of her recent realization of the true nature of her feelings on the tip of her tongue, but that would have to wait for another time.

For now, Asami was content with standing here, by Korra's side, like she hadn't been able to do in all the years that Korra had been gone.

She's content to do so for as long as possible.

. . .

.

A/N: Not done yet, there will be about two more chapters depending on the last four episodes of Korra.

Until then, enjoy :)

Additionally, while updating I was having technical difficulties and for a brief period of time, the story went out of order, so apologies for those who may have experienced that.


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